rogue

A definitive ranking of mini Easter eggs from bloody incredible to downright disgusting.

Having spent years in a share house with conversations regularly turning to food, I have always been exposed to numerous taste-based opinions and culinary critiques. 

Our fondest memories are of school canteen snacks, the most palatable fruit when over or under ripe (settled on kiwifruit) and placing chocolate bars into five tiers, reflecting their quality (Violet Crumble you belong in the trash and I will not be told otherwise). 

Watch: How to make a delicious no-bake Easter dessert. Post continues after video.


Video via Mamamia.

As Easter approaches and shelves are laden with Easter eggs and hot cross buns, it dawned on me that a conversation about tiering Easter eggs is yet to transpire. 

So, I did what any chocolate aficionado would do and filled my shopping basket with the eggs on offer and set out to devise what would become a highly controversial tiering system of Australian Easter eggs, which I published on my Instagram.

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I take no responsibility for the guy whose missus ended up in tears, and despite one follower questioning whether this was a publicity stunt, I remain steadfast in the objectivity of the tiering system. I put my body and taste buds on the line for this. 

G.O.A.T TIER 

Darrell Lea Peppermint Dark Chocolate Eggs

Image: Darrell Lea.

Cadbury Mini Eggs

Image: Cadbury.

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GOAT (greatest of all time) tier. The cream of the crop. While the Cadbury Mini Egg didn't cause much of a stir, Darrell Lea’s Dark Chocolate Peppermint Egg made up for it! 

Now I’d like to clarify here that the peppermint is not that oozy weird liquid but in fact delightful sprinklings of mint chips.

While there were a handful of peppermint enthusiasts out there, I was largely on my own receiving one DM stating that mint only belongs with lamb, toothpaste and chewing gum. The audacity! 

V. GOOD TIER

Lindt Mini Dark Eggs

Image: Lindt.

Cadbury Dairy Milk Eggs

Image: Cadbury.

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Two of the more humble eggs on the market that I’d happily eat again and again and again. While we can all largely agree that Cadbury Dairy Milk Eggs are oh-so-tasty, questions were raised as to why they were not deserving of GOAT status. 

My answer? The Mini Egg gives you that delicious inside milk chocolate filling PLUS a crispy outside shell. Texture FTW!  

GOOD TIER

Lindt Mini Milk Eggs

Image: Lindt.

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Cadbury Oreo Eggs

Image: Cadbury.

Cadbury Crunchie Eggs

Image: Cadbury.

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Cadbury Salted Caramel Eggs

Image: Cadbury.

Good tier. The middle of the road. I’m not saying no and could likely be lured towards a purchase if on sale, but there are definitely eggs I am reaching for before these. 

The Crunchie Egg did receive solid support, with followers campaigning for its elevation up the tiers, and I can appreciate this, but a Crunchie Egg is working SO much harder than a Crunchie ever has. 

Otherwise, this tier remained uncontroversial.

MEH TIER

Cadbury Caramello Eggs

Image: Cadbury.

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Cadbury Caramilk Eggs

Image: Cadbury.

If we want to talk about overrated products, it’s difficult to look past Caramilk Eggs. A confused egg. Are you trying to be white chocolate? Or caramel? You’ve seemed to merge the two, poorly. 

If I picked a Caramilk Egg up accidentally from an assorted selection, I’d consume with a begrudging nod to the portion of my appetite I’d just wasted.  

The rating of Caramello Eggs generated a flood of criticism. My justification? I’m not crazy about liquid fillings and this has one. Whilst palatable, the edition of Salted Caramel to the Cadbury family was a stroke of genius, hence its elevation to the good tier. Caramello is simply not on the same level. 

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VOMIT TIER

Cadbury Turkish Delight Eggs

Image: Cadbury.

Lindt Mini White Eggs

Image: Lindt.

Cadbury Creme Egg

Image: Cadbury.

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Hello backlash. 

Turns out Turkish Delight and Creme Eggs are adored by more individuals than I’d like to acknowledge. This tier raised questions on the post’s orientation and whether the ranking system was upside down from Mamamia's very own #snackfluencer Leigh Campbell. Additionally, appalled followers informed me they were reporting my post. 

There was significant discussion about Turkish Delight, a chocolate with a long-standing record of polarity, with one attune follower identifying is as the coriander of Easter eggs; but it was the people cheering for Creme Eggs that had me truly shook.

A hideous concoction of yellow and white fondant to mimic an egg yolk & egg white. Have you not questioned why this product is permanently on sale at your supermarket checkout? You will now. Repulsive. 

I don’t imagine any amount of lobbying will render changes to these ratings but I’m nonetheless open to hearing arguments for a tiering review.

Georgie Quigley is the Founder and Director of Georgie Quigley Public Relations (GQPR), a boutique consumer lifestyle PR agency. 

What mini Easter egg do you think was wrongly tiered? Let us know in the comments!

Feature image: Lindt, Darrell Lea, Cadbury and Mamamia.