rogue

"I will not gain 3 kilos." A bride is demanding her bridesmaids sign a pre-wedding contract.

Prepare yourselves. For there’s another horror bride story going viral, and this one involves… contracts.

Specifically, one bride’s desire to have her number of bridesmaids sign a document that stipulates the conditions of her wedding.

But the contracts don’t just dictate what the women can or can’t do on the day of the wedding. No. That would ignore the fact that obviously there are many things bridesmaids must agree to before the wedding.

Watch: Mamamia Confessions: The worst request I received as a bridesmaid. Post continues after video.

“I’ve read a lot of horror stories about brides having issues with their bridal party and I just want my planning and wedding day to go smoothly,” an anonymous woman shared with a Facebook group.

She then shared possible contracts that she found, from which she suggested she could mimic for her wedding. She stated that having such signing would mitigate the potential for “pain and suffering”.

britney gif
This doesn't feel... right.

So what would the bridesmaids actually be agreeing to?

Well. Some of the stipulations are as follows:

  • "I will not gain 7lbs [3kg] between now and the wedding."
  • "I will not knowingly/unknowingly get pregnant more than 3 months prior to the wedding or else there will be an @$$ whooping!"
  • "You will not make any major hair change without first notifying me and providing me with a sample photo or hair swatch for consideration."
  • "I will not bring an inappropriate date to the wedding or reception."
  • "I will keep my hair and makeup fresh at all times."
  • "I will not attempt to outdo the bride in any way."
  • "I will agree to wear a dress of the bride's choosing, regardless of my own opinions about style or colour."
  • "I will not consume more than 10 units of alcohol at the reception."
bridesmaid contract
Image: Facebook.
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The second contract suggested by the anonymous bride-to-be seemed a little less... intense. Though that's not to say it was any more reasonable. It did, however, end on a more friendly note.

"Most importantly let me know if you become uncomfortable with anything, at any time, regarding any aspect of this whole deal," the contract read at the end. "If you feel I am asking for too much, if you feel neglected by not being asked to do enough, if expenses seem to be becoming prohibitive, anything at all. The absolute last thing I want is for you to feel put upon or resentful. All I truly want is your friendship and support."

Which seems contradictory to the above conditions. But anywho.

Image: Facebook.

The post was quick to go viral, with a significant number of Facebook users commenting on it. A few even questioned whether the contracts are actually real.

"How does she have ANY bridesmaids? She can't. It has to be a troll or satire because NO ONE IN THEIR RIGHT MIND would go into a wedding knowing the bride was this crazy from the very start," one woman wrote.

"Honestly if I was handed that I would most likely tell you to go kick rocks and end our friendship," another added.

I would say this is peak bridezilla, but then again, who knows what tomorrow will bring. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

One thing is for sure though: Weddings are excellent for internet fodder.

What do you think about bride contracts? Let us know in the comments section below!

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