sex

From poo explosions to numbing lube: 8 anal sex myths debunked.

Oh, come on. We've seen you having a Google, Kelly. Trying to suss out if it hurts, if there'll be a massive s**t explosion, if it'll ruin your delicate b-hole and make you poo weird for the rest of your life, if everyone else is having it on the reg, etc.

And it's totally normal. There are a lot of questions one would have around anal sex. Cause the myths can be f**king terrifying. Like, there are heaps of general sex myths out there, but when it comes to anal sex it's NEXT LEVEL.

Which does absolutely-f**kin'-nothing for nobody. 

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So, what's the deal? 

Why is there so much BS in the anal department? Is there still a bit of a taboo surrounding it, orrrr?

Certified Australian sex coach Georgia Grace said, "The anus is the unsung hero of full body orgasms and is often left out of conversations around sex and pleasure."

"Many people say they feel intimidated by anal play as a result of their social conditioning, limited sex education or simply an ingrained belief that the bum has only one function."

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So, you know what we're going to do? Talk more about anal, of course!

We asked Georgia to help us debunk some of the common myths around anal sex - to save you from trawling through the Interweb to find answers.

1. You need an enema or douche before having anal sex.

The whole you'll poo/it's going to get messy thing is probably one of the most common concerns people have when it comes to anal sex. So, is it true that you need to have an enema beforehand?

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Well, it's not a thing you HAVE to do. Doing a full-on poo during the act is extremely rare (FYI: your poo tends to hang out higher anyway - like, above the anus and rectum).

"An enema isn’t essential, however for those who want a deep clean, it can allow them to feel more at ease," said Grace.

"Some may do this by having a shower and manually cleaning with their finger, and others may invest in an enema or anal douche."

If you're going down the enema route, Grace said for the very best experience make sure to do it one to two hours beforehand. Not, like, right before - obvs! "You only need to use a couple cups of water," she said.

"For others, going to the bathroom to empty their bowels 30-60 minutes before anal play, and washing the anal area with body safe soap, warm water, body safe unscented, hypoallergenic baby wipes are a great alternative."

We good?

"It’s also really important to wash your hands thoroughly, and if you plan on moving from anal to vaginal or oral sex, you MUST MUST MUST wash the toy, penis or whatever was being used on the anus thoroughly."

Keep it clean, people. Let's keep it clean.

2. You can't orgasm through anal sex.

Not true, you guys! As we all know by now, orgasming is way more than vaginal penetration

"You can climax from anal stimulation. The anus has the second highest concentration of nerve endings in your body (after the clit)."

Crazy, right? Pop your biology beanie on for a quick tick - we want to give you a rundown on what's going on back there.

Take it away, GG.

"People with vulvas have a perineal sponge - which you can access via the gooch (aka the strip of skin that sits between the anus and the vaginal opening). The perineal sponge is part of the internal network of erectile tissue and can be a key player in arousal and pleasure," explains Grace. 

"All of this means that anal exploration (external and internal) stimulates your clitoral network from highly sensitive angles, so an anal orgasm is entirely possible."

Did you catch that? Orgasming during anal is 100 per cent a thing that can happen.

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"People with a penis can also climax during anal or prostate stimulation, and it will allow you to learn more about your pleasure potential as it invites exploration, curiosity and new sensations to heighten your climax." 

So, yeah. Just because one of your friends told you that she doesn't like it, doesn't mean you won't like it.

"Many report a full-body, undulating, intense experience of pleasure, that isn’t restricted to their penis (and may not end in ejaculation!). This kind of play may also support you in having multiple, blended orgasms."

Multiple. Blended. Orgasms.

3. Anal sex feels like you're just 'pooing backwards'.

A logical question, no? But according to Grace, anal isn't quite just the feeling of pooping backwards. Hooray!

"Some people may feel this and really enjoy the feeling of being full. Others enjoy the feeling of the toy / thing that is penetrating them is being removed (ie anal beads). It’s very important to note anal pleasure can involve so much more than being penetrated by a strap-on or a penis." 

Therefore, the more relaxed someone is during anal sex, the more comfortable it will feel.

"Arousal around the anus offers all kinds of benefits including; downregulating the nervous system, reducing stress and anxiety, stimulating arousal and promoting intense pleasure. Anal massage is an incredible tool to immediately and effectively reduce stress, build arousal and feel pretty damn good. Anal penetration is just one type of anal sex."

So, if you're feeling super stressed.... maybe....

4. Anal sex is painful.

Nope. Pain during sex shouldn't be a thing if you're doing it correctly.

"Sex should never involve any unwanted pain - if it’s painful, stop, slow down and listen to your body. Do not push through the pain. If you’re experiencing ongoing pain after sex, seek professional support," says Grace.

5. Bleeding after anal sex is normal.

Alright. While it's common to experience some bleeding after anal, it's nor 'normal' as per se. 

"Bleeding may occur for a range of reasons," said Grace. "You may have an anal fissure - which is essentially a tear in the wall of your anus. This may bleed or feel uncomfortable the next time you poo or have anal sex."

"Hemorrhoids and some STIs may also cause bleeding."

If you experience ongoing pain, discomfort or if you are heavily bleeding, it is always best to see a GP. And don't feel weird about it - seriously. 

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"I know that a lot of people put off going to see a professional when it comes to this area, but remember they are trained to support you with a judgement free approach."

6. Anal sex causes you to go to the bathroom ~differently~.

Jusssst enough poo questions, no? 

One of the common myths surrounding anal sex is that it will weaken or damage your anal muscles, meaning you'll poo weird. This isn't necessarily true.

Grace said some people may experience slight changes in their bowel movements, which could be as a result of an enema, douching or even just the fact that you’ve been stimulating the area.

However, if you’re taking time for proper foreplay, taking it slow and easing the muscles into it (not to mention other sexy things like eating enough fibre and staying hydrated), your digestive system should keep running smoothly,

"When you're exploring anal with someone else, make sure you go slow and when you remove the thing that is penetrating you/someone else, remove it slowly. The slower you go the more control and safety you will have," adds Grace.

7. You need to use a numbing lube during anal sex.

This is a terrible idea, and you should definitely not do this. If your anus is numbed TF out, how are you supposed to know when to slow things down?

"Do not use desensitising lube on your anus or genitals. This is dangerous - pain is a powerful tool that tells us when you stop, slow down or do something different - if you can’t feel pain you may do damage to your body."

8. You don't need to use a condom during anal sex.

Hahaha. GOOD ONE.

"You should use a physical barrier like a condom each time you have sex. You can’t get pregnant during anal sex but you can still contract STIs," said Grace.

"Condoms and dental dams are the best way to minimise your risk for STIs and they are also a great - and sexy- physical barrier for any tongue and bum play."

Get the condoms out and happening, pls.

"Many people are curious about anal play, for more information you can go read my article or check out my Instagram, I have many anal pleasure resources there," said Grace.

HANDY. 

Got more anal questions you want answered? Go for it, kid! Share them with us in the comment section below.

Feature image: Getty