A MAFS bridesmaid just exposed the 'orange flag' we should be looking out for.

Women hear plenty about red, green, and even beige flags in relationships, but what about those pesky orange flags?

These are the kinds of warning signs in the early stages of dating or a relationship that might not be as insidious or obvious as a red flag, but can be a subtle indication of something worrying on the horizon.

The concept was brought up in the second episode of Married at First Sight, during Jack and Tori’s wedding, and it... got us thinking.

"I have this weird feeling about Jack, it's an intuition that I have," Tori's bridesmaid Lea said at the reception.

"I don't want Tori to leave this evening on a high and not be privy to [his] orange flags."

Alarm bells rang for Lea after she spoke to Jack's wedding guests and learned that they were all clients of the self-described 'alpha male', who works as a personal trainer.

"There is something about him that is reserved and guarded, but I don't know what it is," Lea told Tori of her new husband. 

"For me, I’m like, 'Why is everyone here a client of yours? Where are your long-term relationships?'"

Lea was not Jack's biggest fan. Image: Nine.


Lea questioned why Jack seemed to lack relationships that weren't based on 'financial benefits' and why his childhood and high-school friends hadn't attended his wedding.

And she... kind of has a point, right?

"I don't know why they’re not here? For me, it's giving '[him] controlling the narrative'. There is something, I can feel it in my f**king bones, it could be a misogynistic thing – but you won't know until it comes out."

(This is the same Jack who had also mentioned that he's a dominant person who's looking for a woman to be submissive in the relationship so... Lea's gut feeling might be bang on.)


This was Lea's 'orange flag', but there are plenty of others to watch out for in the dating game. The Mamamia team has rounded up our very own big box of dating orange flags – and if anyone tries to wave these at you, walk the other way.

When they don't put effort into texting.

Texting is the modern-day language of love, and being able to communicate over text is crucial to the early stages of a relationship.

Texting orange flags can range from asking the same question over and over, forgetting an important detail of your life, or sending generic prompts that sound like something the person bulk-texts to multiple people.

When they don't put much effort into a first date.

Whether they rock up wearing dirty or torn clothes, possibly unshowered? No thanks. And when they expect you to organise the time, location and activity every time? Uh-uh. A person not putting in effort from the outset sets a precedent for the relationship.

WATCH: Red flags to watch out for in relationships. Post continues after video.

Video via Mamamia.

When they take hours to reply or arrive late to dates.

Okay, people have busy lives, but if a person continuously takes more than five hours to respond or rocks up to dates over 20 minutes late, then they're showing signs of selfishness and hinting that they don't respect you or your time.

Or... they're playing a game, which is a whole other issue in itself. Ain't nobody got time for that.

They send pas-agg replies if you don't respond straightaway.

On the flipside, if you don't reply to their messages *instantly*, and they start sending mildly paranoid or accusatory responses (maybe even disguised as joking), that can be a bit worrying too.

Whether it's a jarring "Hello???"or "You mad at me?" or a more dramatic "You not interested in me anymore?", this could hint at some underlying insecure or even controlling ways.

When they use subtle patronising language.

Someone might not be outright patronising, but they can use turns of phrase that have undertones of condescension.

"I went on a date with this guy and there were so many things that were kind of a little bit off, but not full-on red flags," one Mamamia colleague told me.

"Like, after we finished dinner, he looked at the emptied plates on the table and said, 'You did well.' Praising me for eating? Off-putting. Sure, maybe he was just nervous and said something silly?! But then we went to get ice cream and when I finished he said it again. I was like, bro... I didn't do a 'good job' by eating a meal."


Watching videos on their phone without headphones.

Okay, this is a bit of a niche flag from one colleague shared, but does it show a lack of self-awareness? Maybe so. If someone can happily play a video at full volume while their partner sits there trying to go about their life, maybe they're a wee bit... selfish?

When their friends are mean, snobby, or bigoted.

You are who you surround yourself with, so if a potential partner has a circle of friends that are frankly awful people – whether they're hateful or prejudiced or just kind of suck generally – this may mean the person isn't who you think they are.

It's a similar story when they don't seem to have any longstanding friendships (aka MAFS groom Jack) – not an outright red flag, because everyone's got a different story, but something to note. They might have trouble maintaining relationships, or end up leaning on your for e-v-e-r-y-t-h-i-n-g.

When they flake on plans last minute.  

This isn't as obvious as, say, the red flag of cancelling multiple dates; it's more a flaky approach to plans, that says, "I'm not going to confirm or set anything in stone because I'm waiting to see if a better option crops up." Which... isn't cool.

When the crux of their 'banter' is laughing at you and not with you. 

This isn't quite as obvious as negging (big red flag), but someone laughing at your expense doesn't feel super nice, and if the banter between you and a love interest seems to hinge on them mocking you most of the time, this might hint at an unbalanced power dynamic.

Big ol' yikes.

Feature image: Nine. 

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