'A week before my wedding, my fiancé gave me a prenup.'

Most of us look forward to the day we walk down the aisle, say "I do" and then live happily ever after with the partner of our dreams. 

But one woman on Reddit says her special day might be cancelled altogether after her fiancé handed her a pre-nup just a week before the wedding.

Watch: MM Confessions: My worst breakup excuse was... Post continues below.

Video via Mamamia.

They'd been together for almost four years, but had never discussed a prenup, she said. 

"I'm having an emotional hard time right now and I'll try my best not to word vomit," she wrote. 

"He [had been talking] with his buddies in a group chat. Three of them have gone through divorces. One guy has a brother who cheated and left his wife for his mistress. His ex-wife verbally said she was okay with just getting a house and car in cash but once she lawyered up, she was told she could get way more. He said that now she's getting alimony and 'he got screwed.'"

The woman said that the conversation freaked out her partner who then rushed to have a prenup signed so "no one got screwed over," adding he told her, "We don't even need a lawyer to do it. Just do it online and get it notarised."

Their situation was complicated by the fact she didn't trust her fiancé who previously voiced wanting to explore "ethical non-monogamy" or "ENM". 

For those who don't know, ENM refers to a specific agreement or scenarios between partners that gives explicit consent for both to be intimate with someone else. 


Of course, there are a lot of boundaries that need to be set with it comes to ethical non-monogamy but it is essentially about exploring relationships (whether physically, emotionally or both) whilst in a loving, committed relationships.

The woman behind the post shared that she had long been against it in her relationship and only felt uncomfortable when her fiancé brought it up.

"It [doesn't help] that a few days, he wanted to remind me that he still thinks ethical non-monogamy 'would be fun'. He knows this is a hard no for me and it’s his choice to stay in the relationship and continue with getting married," she wrote. 

"I gave him an out if this is a lifestyle he absolutely needs. He said he doesn't and it'd only happen if I wanted it [but the] damage has been done and I have to try and repair myself before the wedding."

The bride-to-be confessed she feels her fiancé only wants a prenup so he doesn't get "screwed over if he messes up".

"I'm not sure how I feel about doing this without a lawyer. I'm just so blindsided and my mind feels like scrambled eggs. I'm not sure what to do," she wrote before asking for legal advice.

Almost all commenters agreed the woman should hire her own lawyer and postpone the wedding if necessary. 

"A prenup is about setting terms of agreement if the relationship ends, not about quickly shielding one person so they get to keep their money when they inevitably cheat and you want a divorce. Do not sign any papers — prenup or marriage — until this is worked out," one person wrote.


"Whether or not he knows this, he is trying to ensure you have no legal representation when he sets the terms. His 'buddy got screwed' because his ex-wife did exactly what she should have done: get a lawyer. As should you. These are not good men."

Another told the woman she was "drowning in red flags".

"He wants you at home, him f*****g other women, and in case it 'doesn't work out,' he doesn't have to pay you s**t," they said. "A cancelled wedding is cheaper and kinder than years of a toxic marriage where you become financially disadvantaged and then a divorce you can't afford and kids you'd have to share."

Others encouraged the bride-to-be to leave. 

"I think you deserve to be in a relationship where you are treated with kindness and respect. None of us are perfect, and we make mistakes. We all get to decide what we are willing to accept and forgive with our partners. This action on his part doesn't feel kind or respectful," a third comment said. 

"Please get the legal support you deserve quickly, and speak with your therapist to help you frame this based on their knowledge of you and your history."

One of the top comments hit the nail on the head and highlighted the real problem between the couple.

"My non-professional opinion is that he's throwing everything at you right before the wedding because he's in an absolute state of panic about getting married," the comment read. "Obviously, it's not a coincidence that he's bringing up having relationships outside the marriage and a prenup a week before the wedding. 

"So don't be surprised if something else gets thrown at you next."

Feature Image: Getty.

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