'I was my step-sister's wedding photographer. I walked out before the reception.'

For anyone who has planned a wedding, you know that there is an endless checklist of things to do in preparation for the big day. Whether you're going DIY or you're outsourcing a lot of the admin, it can still be a fairly hectic time organising everything from the guest list to booking vendors and sending out the invites.

Then of course there's the 'social' management — this person can't sit next to that person, your mum is making you invite that creepy uncle you don't like, and do you really need to invite your boss' cousin in order stay in good stead for that promotion?

It's a lot to juggle.

But for one bride who mixed (wedding) business with family on her wedding day, things didn't pan out exactly... picture perfect. In fact, she didn't even get pictures.

One Reddit user took to the 'Am I An A**hole' forum to post her experience photographing her step-sister's wedding, and it resulted in a big family drama.

As a professional photographer, the Reddit user says that she was approached by her mum and asked if she would take pictures at her step-sister's wedding. The step-sister had been trying to cut down on costs so was looking at ways to keep her budget reasonable.

"[My mum] asked me to do it as a gift," she wrote. "She knows that Tina hates me and I pretty much reciprocate. I decided to be the bigger person and agreed."

So, even though they weren't close (far from it), the Reddit poster went ahead and arrived on the day of the wedding ready to photograph everything in line with the bride's requested shot list.


"I was there for the makeup and the wedding party getting dressed, I took a ton of pictures at the wedding," she wrote. "I prepared a checklist of all the different formals she wanted and made sure I got them all. I did my absolute best."

Watch: The bride who dumped her bridesmaid. Story continues below.

Video via Mamamia.

However, things took a turn when they got to the reception portion of the evening. 

The photographer had brought her boyfriend to work as her assistant for the day, and assumed that in addition to their duties, they would be guests at the reception given her relationship to the bride.

But when she walked into the reception area, she couldn't find her name at any of the tables.

"I called my mum to find out where I was meant to sit and eat and stuff," she wrote. "She talked to Tina and called me back. She was upset and I could tell. She said that Tina thought since I was working and not a guest she didn't have to have a seat and food for me."

"I thanked my mum for the information and left."


Now, just to be clear: it's pretty standard practice to feed the vendors working at your wedding. The band or DJ and, yes, the photographer need to eat. 

Clearly annoyed by being overlooked after working for eight hours capturing the wedding for free, the photographer and her boyfriend left. She turned off her phone, went and had dinner and caught a movie before calling it a night. 

"Sunday morning I turned on my phone," she wrote. "It was full of messages asking where I went. Then demanding I come take pictures. Then cursing me out."

"I called my mum to see what was up. She said that Tina was very upset that I left and that all her reception pictures were going to be from cell phone cameras. She said I should have just gone to get a quick bite at McDonald's and then come back."

Yikes. Things certainly turned south and the bride was clearly very disgruntled.

The photographer finished her post saying she eventually apologised and offered a full refund on the job (which, by all accounts, was a free gig so jury is still out on whether this is a very funny sarcastic final jab), and planned to drop off a drive of the unedited pictures she did take during the ceremony and beforehand.

In response to the post, a number of people chimed in to give their two cents on the situation.

Plenty were in agreement that it's fairly standard practice for all vendors working a wedding to receive something to eat. Whether that's a seat in the venue or meals organised by the catering, it's deemed pretty poor etiquette to not provide at least something to keep the workers going.


"My girlfriend does wedding photos," wrote one user. "I am often along as her helper. Even when we aren't related to the bride and groom, we always get fed. We are usually at a back table away from everyone."

Another said that this whole situation felt like an intentional snub and the photographer was right to walk away when they weren't being treated properly — especially considering they're family.

"You're doing an epic favour that you'd normally get paid well to do," they wrote. "You're doing this for someone who doesn't like you. Then you find out that they intentionally snubbed you. Even if the photographer didn't have seating/food, the step-sister should have that."

Another person doubled down on this sentiment, agreeing the bride had done the wrong thing by her step-sister, suggesting it was the bride who should be apologising for her behaviour.

"You are clearly not considered family by this girl," they wrote. "You are just the help. Sorry you were treated this way. Glad you stood your ground and took initiative. They should be apologising to you."

It's clear that these women don't have a great relationship, which is probably why this set-up was doomed from the beginning. At the end of the day, the photographer tried to do the right thing and then walked away when she wasn't being respected.

Feature Image: Getty.

As women our bodies are constantly changing! Tell us about your experience and go in the running to win one of four $50 gift vouchers.