Let's start with a disclaimer: we're going back to basics here. If you're a parent-to-be who's already compiled an Excel document which compares the length of different pram handles, you might be too advanced for this crash course.
I'm talking, here, to anyone who is officially overwhelmed by the sheer volume of things they apparently need for their impending bundle of joy.
The sort of person who's been nodding along for months when they hear words like 'swaddle' and keeps forgetting to Google, "What is swaddle?".
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The sort of person who knows, vaguely, that the baby needs a place to sleep, but can't quite grasp where that place should be (and what it has to do with Moses).
The sort of person who enters a baby store to buy a car seat only to emerge, empty-handed and tearful, absolutely bewildered as to why there are 157 different types.
My dear friend, let me take your hand: today we're going to walk through four of the most needlessly complicated purchases you'll be making for your newborn, and try to make it as painless as possible. Are you with me? Let's roll.