reality tv

The men on this season of The Bachelorette have shown us what good men look like.

To catch up on all the Bachelorette Australia 2019 recaps and gossip, check out Mamamia’s recaps and visit our Bachelorette hub page.

We often joke about reality TV, laughing it off as vapid and a bit… unrealistic.

And sure, it can be. A lot of the time it deserves an eye roll. But reality TV can also hold up a lens to society and highlight all the shit, good and bad, that goes on around us.

Angie Kent on what her relationship with her bachie winner is like now. Post continues below video.

Video by Mamamia

This season of The Bachelorette has done just that: It’s more than just a woman dating a bunch of dudes. It’s a confident, funny, multifaceted, feminist woman dating a selection of men, many of whom have rejected everything society tries to teach them about being a dude.

We hear the words ‘toxic masculinity’ a lot these days. And while it’s crucial that we continue to call out that behaviour, talk about it, make clear it’s not okay and work towards a society where it’s not celebrated normalised or swept under the rug, we also reckon it’s important to celebrate the complete opposite of it.

And bless, so many of the men on this season of The Bachelorette are the opposite of it.

bachelorette australia men

We've learned that toxic behaviour and attitudes are still out there, still harming women and men, but we also learned that it's not the default setting, as we would have once assumed.

jess bachelorette
More men like this, please.

Masculinity is not saying inappropriate things about women and bragging about how you would kiss a woman who's not interested and masculinity is not throwing a tantrum because you're dressed as a chicken (#neverforget).

Masculinity is:

  • Being confident
  • Owning who you are
  • Not feeling shamed for taking care of your appearance
  • Embracing your love of fashion and expressing yourself through it, especially if that means wearing a leopard print neck tie
  • Wearing eyeliner, if you want to and being totally unapologetic about it
  • Being open about cosmetic work you have had/would like to have, if you are comfortable doing so
  • Telling another man his sexually explicit comments - no matter whether they're in private or in public - are inappropriate
  • Calling out a man out who refers to a woman as a 'bitch'
  • Being an ally to women and marginalised communities
  • Not bragging about your sexual conquests
  • Laughing at yourself
  • Admitting your limitations, flaws and worries
  • Calmly - verbally - expressing your anger and frustrations
  • Being open about your feelings and embracing your vulnerability
  • Embracing and complimenting other men
  • Respecting boundaries
  • Allowing a woman to talk without interruption, and listening carefully when she does
  • Being open about how much you love your family and friends
  • Complimenting a woman on her personality, her humour and her mind, not just her appearance
  • Crying, when you need to.

Plus, masculinity is this wonderful producer letting a spiralling, nervous Timm know that he doesn't always have to be 'the funny one'.

the bachelorette

Minus a few duds, the casting of the men on this Bachelorette season has been stellar.


I'm willing to bet all women have met a Jess or a Jamie at some point in their lives. Those characters are familiar. We've seen enough of them in real life and on television to last us a lifetime.

Other reality shows should take note of how much Australia has fallen in love with contestants who have smashed toxic masculinity and gender stereotypes.

We're sick of the Jess and the Jamies, but we can never see enough Ciarrans and Timms, and even Carlins and Jacksons.

We need more of them on our screens (and in our lives), please.