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After kissing Matt, The Bachelor's Abbie was slut-shamed online. And she won't stand for it.



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On last Thursday’s episode of The Bachelor, we saw things get a little lot steamy between our bachie Matt and contestant Abbie Chatfield.

They tortured themselves, and us tbh, with some major sexual tension at the annual photo shoot and then kissed (lots) during alone time at the cocktail party.

But while Abbie, 23, entered the show to find love – it is a dating show, after all – and a very important part of most loving relationships is sexual attraction and chemistry, she’s received her fair share of negative feedback since the episode went to air.

Um, just in case you need a refresher of *that* kiss. Post continues below video.

Video by Network 10

Abbie told Mamamia she was frustrated by some of the reactions she received from the public.

“I have got a positive reaction from a lot of people,” Abbie explained. “Messages saying ‘good on you owning that, taking control of that photo shoot’ and they’re really happy for me, but there have been other comments I’ve seen on my Instagram and on Facebook saying ‘Is she really that easy?’ [and] slut-shaming.”


These were people who took issue with Abbie owning her sexuality and openly expressing her attraction to a man, because even in 2019, a double standard remains.

Abbie The Bachelor

"People assume a women can only be one thing; that because I was open with my sexuality and I was able to express that with Matt that I was only that one thing, that I couldn't be intelligent and sexual and strong and funny and have any other personality traits," she said.

Bachelor Matt is portrayed, rightly, as all of the things. When are we going to accept that women can also be all of the things; smart, funny, strong, serious, kind, flirty and yes, sexual?

"Why can Matt be handsome, funny, smart and a sexual being while all women vying for his attention can be only one of these things?" Abbie asked.

"I'm a multifaceted woman, I am all of these things and more. I have a right to change my mind, to share a consensual kiss with a man I'm attracted to, to own my own sexuality and be confident and happy in myself. Sexuality is important, attraction is important, intimate compatibility is important," she said.

"We as a society must remember that the presence of one of these things does not mean the absence of another."


Abbie said the commentary had been more frustrating than upsetting, especially given the fact that surely we shouldn't need to be having these conversations anymore.

"I am a vocal feminist," she explained. "To be on the receiving end has been frustrating, because it's like 'How do people still think that way?'"

She wanted to get the message across that a woman's sexuality is valid, and finding a sexual connection does not "cheapen" other facets of a blossoming relationship.

"We live in a society that begs women to be sexual objects in a very specific way and then shames us when we try to do it ourselves," she explained.


"We have the ability to be sexual and also have respect for ourselves."

We unpack all the latest antics on the Bachie mansion on our Mamamia Recaps podcast... Post continues after audio 

Obviously, what we as viewers are now watching happened months ago and for Abbie, the fallout we're witnessing began long before we saw her and Matt kiss on our TV screenss.

Abbie told Mamamia the days after THAT cocktail party and the subsequent drama with fellow bachelorette Monique, which we will see play out on screen this week, were difficult to go through. She admitted she did consider leaving the show after feeling isolated from the other women, but did not regret her decisions.

"The blowback was actually my hardest time in the mansion. Going to the house after that cocktail party, I knew that I had a target on my back from then on. I didn't know that the girls were all quite upset with me about the kiss – I knew they weren't happy but I didn't realise the extent of it. In an effort to protect Matt, I kind of kept myself to the sidelines I guess.

"I did call the psychologist and wasn't really eating and was sleeping all day, trying to find a way to cope with it."

After the episode aired last week, Abbie said she received support from bachelorettes Helena and Vakoo, who both touched base to check in on her.

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