Which Spice Girl you wanted to be as a child now says a lot about you as an adult.


It’s finally happened.

A feat of majesty and wonder I never thought I’d get to see in my lifetime.

The Spice Girls are reuniting for a tour (minus Victoria “Posh Spice” Beckham , who is too busy running a successful fashion empire/ordering single carrots masquerading as deconstructed juices to partake, and our previously dull lives finally have a hint of flavor again.

There are of course a lot of hot takes about this reunion circulating through the dark tangles of social media right now.

Will this reunion ruin their legacy? Is there infighting happening behind the scenes between Posh and co? Will platform sneakers now make a triumphant return to mainstream fashion?

But none of that really matters right now, because there is a much more important question at hand that must be answered immediately.

Thousands of women across the world have now been thrown into an identity crisis, now wondering if they really grew up to be the Spice Girl they idolised as a child.

How did making such an important decision at such a young age affect the rest of your life?

Here’s what the Spice Girl you wanted to be as a child now means about you as an an adult.

If you wanted to be Baby Spice…

Look, you may have ditched the pigtails for a more understated low-pony but you still know how to trot out the baby-talk voice in order to emotionally manipulate those around you.


If you work in an office it means you’ve never had to retrieve your own printing from the machine or wash up the communal coffee mugs, because you’re just so adorable that not even Brenda from accounts can scold you for your bad behaviour – and she’s a stickler for office rules.

You’re in your 30s and you still call yourself a “Daddy’s Girl” (even though nobody asked…) and your boyfriend finds it a tad weird that all of your sexy times happen under the watchful eyes of the small army of stuffed animals that live on your bed. But he’s learned to not bring it up.

You grew up to be the person your friends love to laugh with, the one who always remembers to call their mum just to check in, and the one who takes charge when it’s time to organise group t-shirts for a Taylor Swift concert.

If you wanted to be Sporty Spice…

Uh, it’s actually “Wellness Spice” now, thank you every much.

It’s also more of an overall lifestyle choice then an exercise regime…

You grew up to be the person who bounds merrily into the office each morning and stands a little too close to your co-workers each morning, your eyes spinning with endorphins, while you explain helpfully that if they just hit the gym each morning like you do then they wouldn’t even need a coffee to wake up!


Also, you sit on a balance ball instead of a chair because you’re not an idiot when it comes to the maintaining your core strength and all your co-workers are very respectful of this and never attempt to knock you over (mainly because they know your bones are stronger than theirs and you’ll just bounce back up again).

You grew up to be the person who never commits to a late night cocktail session but is super reliable when it comes to an early morning brunch date. Your Instagram feed is filled with inspirational quotes and you didn’t just jump on the ‘sneaker as evening wear’ trend, you invented it.

If you wanted to be Baby Spice, you're in your 30s and you still call yourself a "Daddy's Girl" (even though nobody asked...). Source: Getty.

If you wanted to be Ginger Spice...

Your friends can sometimes find your comments a little hard to hear but really, your're a busy woman and you're just being honest with them for their own good. You're also a big believer in the idea that you don't always have to be the best, just the loudest person in the room.

You still believe there is a mini dress for all seasons (sorry, what the hell do you mean that this look is inappropriate for a board meeting/baby shower/funeral? Women can wear whatever they want!). And you've never met a red lipstick you didn't like.

Leaving that start-up when you did in your late 20s was definitely not due to personal issues and you only did it because you wanted to be creatively fulfilled, and again your reason for jumping back on the bandwagon was all about the work, and not because you realised it's actually not that fun to be a lone wolf.

You grew up to be the one who is fiercely independent and while you can have your occasional tiff with your friends, anyone else who dares to mess with them had best turn and run the other way, because your wrath is even more fiery than your hair.

If you wanted to be Scary Spice...

You don't hit the clubs as much now as you used to back in the good old days (mostly because you've been banned from the majority of them, even though you were totally just having a laugh that one time you tried to pierce the bartender's nipple against his will...) but you're still the first person your friends call when they're planning a wild night out.


Your apartment is decorated in a (tasteful) leopard print theme because you wanted to invest in a decor scheme that would never date. You also enjoy partaking in raging online debates that descend into spirited shouting matches, but of course you'd rather do this in person.

Your biggest regret in life is that the tongue stud you rocked as a teen got a tad infected in your adult years, mainly because you were counting on that vodka you chugged at musical festivals to keep it clean, but whipping the scar out at unsuspecting bystanders is now your favourite party trick, so it's all good.

You grew up to be a human brimming with confidence, charisma and ideas, and on the inside you're not as scary as you seem.

Thousands of women across the world have been thrown into an identity crisis, thanks to growing up with the Spice Girls. Source: Getty.

If you wanted to be Posh Spice...

Well, this is a bit of a tough one, because no ones knows how you really turned out as you don't associate with your childhood or high school pals anymore.

Although you very much wish them all the best with their current and future endeavours xxx

You did receive the Facebook event invitation for your high school reunion, but you left the group quietly after making it clear that you were Not Going. Mostly because that bitch Rachel from Year 11 Modern History class kept uploading unflattering pictures of you from that time when you were going through an unfortunate pixie cut phase.

You grew up to be the one with the biggest sunglasses. And the biggest bank balance.

To see more writing from Laura Brodnik, you can follow her on Facebook.