Apparently Meghan Markle has banned Prince Harry from drinking alcohol, tea and coffee.


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The latest rumour involving Meghan Markle and Prince Harry may very well prove the Duchess of Sussex is, indeed, a monster.

It’s quite possibly the cruellest act we’ve ever heard someone commit against a Briton, let alone a member of the British Royal Family.

According to Daily Mail, she’s banned him…from drinking…


Surely, Harry will soon be banished from the royal family to the depths of the jungle where he’ll be forced to eat leaves and sticks and reflect on his tea-less existence, the Queen too horrified to ever utter the name of the grandson she once loved dearly, who betrayed the family by giving up the sacred hot beverage.

But seriously.

Without tea, what does he do when he’s bored?

Hungry but just ate?


When it’s cold outside?

When he has friends over?

When he has a packet of Tim Tams?

We are extremely concerned. And look, he doesn’t seem OK:

Harry, you look miserable. Image: Getty.
No, seriously, what has Meghan DONE to you?! Image: Getty.

But apparently, according to a very reliable anonymous source who may or may not actually exist, the Duchess of Sussex has the soon-to-be-dad on a ~health kick~ which involves no tea, no coffee, and no booze.

The source said she's "shown him a new way to live," and honestly, how dare she.

Harry and Meghan are as smitten as ever and so are we. Post continues after video...

"He eats well, doesn't poison his body, exercises, does a bit of yoga and is a lot happier," the source added.

Yep. We called it. Meghan's a monster.


The lifestyle change, of course, has nothing to do with the fact Harry has already revealed he's given up drinking in support of his pregnant wife.

Or he's simply decided to better care of himself before the new baby arrives ¯\_(ツ)_/¯.

No. It's definitely because Meghan thinks he's out of shape and "wants him to get his soldier body back", according to this source who we are liking less and less by the minute.

They also said when she's not physically forcing the former party boy into yoga positions and slapping cups of tea out of his hand, she's grabbing at his belly rolls, calling him "Prince Fatty" and laughing.

(OK, we made that bit up).

British tabloids report that Meghan has been "shaking up" the royal family with her "difficult ways", involving early rising, yoga, and texting.

And now, she's got Harry drinking mineral water instead of caffeine and completely off the booze, the Sunday Express reports.

A source told the Express: "Considering he's been a pretty brutal drinker since he was a young teenager, it's quite an achievement."

She also reportedly convinced Prince Harry to give up smoking in March .

Soon, she'll have all of England on a health kick.

She MUST be stopped.