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ASK CHANTELLE: My boyfriend really wants me to 'peg' him. What do I do?

Mamamia's Ask Chantelle series is a pervy Q&A session with Psycho-Sexologist Chantelle Otten. Think about all the sex questions you've wanted answers for, but have been too shy to ask. Nothing is too embarrassing, kinky or wild for Chantelle. Honestly, we've all probably wondered the same thing too. This week, one woman wants to know everything there is to know about lesbian porn. And, if you have a sex question you want answered, email   [email protected] with Ask Chantelle in the subject line.

My boyfriend really wants me to 'peg' him. But I'm not even sure what that means or how it works? Help!

Hey honey, um… cool! I’m all for sexual fantasies, and pegging is a really fun, erotic sexual activity. 

Pegging is basically when a woman wears a strap-on dildo (I think the vibrating kinds are best) and uses it to perform anal sex on the male. Honestly, it’s way more popular than you think, and it will be super enjoyable for your partner.

Watch: 5 strange ways women reach orgasm. Post continues below.


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Strapping on a dildo is actually quite an empowering experience, and you must remember that you are in control of your partner's comfort here, so communication is key.

I would suggest purchasing the dildo together. This way you can pick one to suit your needs. I would lean towards an adjustable strap harness that allows you to change the size of the dildo, depending on your partner's needs. 

Soft, silicone dildos are the way to go. And I would suggest one that vibrates, because you can choose to add those extra sensations in, to elevate your partner's experience. 

To prepare for the experience, you need to make sure you are both on the same page with what your expectations are of the experience. No play without the green light. 

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I would also suggest that for the first experience, not to come in as a Dom queen ready to take charge of his butthole (unless he specifically asks for this). There is definitely a place for Dom queen in the bedroom, but for the first pegging experience, just take it easy. You don’t want to scare him. 

Now, he must feel relaxed. I would suggest a hot shower beforehand, and no heavy meals. Get comfy in your bed, pop on some music, and start with some foreplay and making out. 

Next, lube is the most important ingredient. Experiment by putting some lube on your finger and slowly circling the butt hole. Then, with permission, slowly slide the finger into the anus. 

Just go in gently, because their body will be a tad tense, and may try and push back and reject the finger. Ask him to breathe, drop his body and his muscles and hold your finger in there until his body gets comfortable and the body relaxes. 

Then, lube up the strap on, and slowly enter it into the butt hole. I think that them lying face down with a pillow under their pelvis is an excellent position for you to be able to control the entry. 

Once in, ask him to relax the body again, and when he is ready, you can slowly start moving in and out. Asking him what pace he wants, or if he wants vibration. 

Now. Remember, you are dealing with a human, and accidents may happen. Who cares? Keep some tissues or wet wipes nearby, and just make sure you wipe up afterwards. Totally fine.

I hope you have fun! And don’t forget to use a toy cleaner afterwards, or use a condom over the dildo. 

Read more Ask Chantelle:

Chantelle Otten is Australia’s leading Psycho-Sexologist who is passionate about empowering people to feel great about their sexual health, self-esteem, communication and education. With a background in scientific research, sexual medicine, and counselling, she believes that sexuality and self-esteem are an integral part of life, which everyone is entitled to. Good sexual health should always be enjoyable, pain free and without prejudice.

Chantelle is the director of the Australian Institute of Sexology and Sexual Medicine, where she and her team of sexologists work to positively change the sexual lives of the Australian’s, also using her social media to spread sexual empowerment to all. You can find her on Instagram  here.

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