ASK CHANTELLE: My partner wants to try a golden shower. What do I need to know?

Mamamia's Ask Chantelle series is a pervy Q&A session with Psycho-Sexologist Chantelle Otten. Think about all the sex questions you've wanted answers for, but have been too shy to ask. Nothing is too embarrassing, kinky or wild for Chantelle. Honestly, we've all probably wondered the same thing too. This week, one woman wants to know all about golden showers. And, if you have a sex question you want answered, email

My partner wants to try a golden shower and I'm semi-interested. What do I need to know?

Urolagnia means a tendency to derive sexual pleasure from the sight or thought of urination, and whilst golden showers are often joked about, to many they are a highly erotic experience. They are one form of ‘piss play’, meaning sexual play that involves piss. 

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Now, I think it’s great that you are interested. The reality is, lots of people like to get peed on, and some like to drink the urine too. It is often part of BDSM. 

People often report liking the sensation of it, or the warmth or the wetness. Some like the smell and the taste too. Others enjoy the elements of power-play involved in it, where one person is submissive and the other dominant. Others see it as a sign of worship and ritual.  


To start, know that urine is only sterile if the person peeing is completely healthy. Urine can spread infections and disease if there is an open wound. 

Regarding touching your skin, it should be fine if you also have no open cuts or broken skin. So if you are not feeling so well, and you are the one urinating, wait until you are better, and vice versa, check the health of your sexual partner. 

 So how do I give (or receive) a golden shower?

  1. Whoever is peeing needs to drink a lot of water 45 minutes to an hour beforehand (depending on how your bladder usually works). I'm not talking a glass, I'm talking a litre. 
  2. Pick an appropriate setting. I would suggest shower or bath over the bedroom, because if you are not into it, you wash off the evidence and go about your day!
  3. Have a chat between you and make sure you both know what the plan is and that you are fully consenting. This must be enthusiastically ‘yes! I’m down to give this a try!’
  4. Have a safe word in case you want to stop and don’t feel like you can yell ‘STOP!’. Maybe ‘Pineapple’ will be more comfortable.
  5. Remember that urine isn’t necessarily sterile, so just check if the person getting peed on has open wounds or sores.
  6. Start slow, aiming on a spot away from the face.
  7. If you both like it, hoorah! You can keep going. If you don’t, soap up, rinse down and put it on pause for a while. 

I think it’s amazing that you are owning your sexual expression, and I hope you enjoy the experience. 

Chantelle Otten is Australia’s leading Psycho-Sexologist who is passionate about empowering people to feel great about their sexual health, self-esteem, communication and education. With a background in scientific research, sexual medicine, and counselling, she believes that sexuality and self-esteem are an integral part of life, which everyone is entitled to. Good sexual health should always be enjoyable, pain free and without prejudice.

Chantelle is the director of the Australian Institute of Sexology and Sexual Medicine, where she and her team of sexologists work to positively change the sexual lives of the Australian’s, also using her social media to spread sexual empowerment to all. You can find her on Instagram here.