'It was the night before our wedding.' 17 women on the exact moment they realised their partner was not 'the one'.

Do you believe in 'the one'?  

The one is the person you're destined to be with. You might be in a relationship with a person who you believe is the one for you. You might still be looking for the one. You might not even believe in the concept. 

And maybe you thought you found the one for you... before you realised they weren't.

I asked 17 women on the exact moment they realised their partner was not the one. Here's what they said. 

Watch: Horoscopes & Breakups. Post continues below.

Video via Mamamia.


"When he only took his washing off the washing line, and left mine on because he thought I'd 'want to fold them in a certain way.'"


"My boyfriend of four years who I thought I'd marry and have kids with went away on a work trip to the United States for two months and I was on my own in our apartment. All of a sudden, it was like a weight I never knew that I carried was lifted! I was seeing my friends, family, eating well, working out and I hadn't realised how small my world had gotten by being his support person all the time. It was honestly the best thing that ever happened to me, even though I was devastated at the time."



"I knew in my career that I wanted to grow and make new friends, try new things, take on new opportunities. He wanted to work at the same company (and had been for the past five years). He wanted to buy a property in the suburbs, and I wanted to rent in the city. He wanted to travel locally and I want to travel overseas. Overall, I felt like he had a lack of drive or passion to do anything and it was a major turnoff. It wasn't that he was holding me back, but I wanted someone who would push me more." 


"When I wished that he was my brother so that he would always have a reason to be in my life but without sleeping with him or having any romantic affection. That was the moment I knew it was over and I wasn't actually with my 'one'.


"Our daughter was eight weeks old to the day. I thought he would stop or slow down his drinking when she was born. He didn’t. This one night it took me an hour to settle her and finally get her to sleep. He was drunk and kept going to her bassinet and tickling her face. I told him to just leave her alone as she woke up crying. He looked at me and told me I was a shit mother because I couldn’t get our baby back to sleep. We separated and are now divorced." 


"When someone posted their engagement post and said 'I can’t live without you.' I thought 'I could live without my partner'."


"I returned after a few weeks from visiting my parents overseas. He picked me up from the airport and after we hugged, we looked at one another. There wasn’t love in our eyes anymore."


"When he didn’t allow our daughter to mix play-dough colours."



"When I fell pregnant, the very first thing I thought was 'I don’t want to be tied to this man for the rest of my life.' I had a termination and broke up with him. He was a sweetheart, but he wasn’t my forever person so I let him go find the one that is."


"It was just a random day when I couldn’t stand her. She smoked weed and I followed suit. All of a sudden, I was disgusted by it and I had to call off the engagement as soon as I could. I love my life now and am a single mum by choice to a beautiful one-year-old boy. I wouldn’t have had this life had I have stayed!"


"The night before our wedding. He was an absolute ass that night but I overlooked it all and walked down the aisle one month before my 24th birthday. We separated 25 years later but I should have walked away that night."


"We attended a wedding and as the couple were saying their vows, I realised that I didn't have anything similar to say about him that would be true."


"I was studying abroad for a year and by the time my birthday arrived I was missing my boyfriend and I felt homesick. My expectations were not particularly high, but my best friend came out to see me and my mum sent me a cake which was so thoughtful and lovely. My birthday rolled around, and I kept checking my post box and I couldn’t see a card from my boyfriend. So he didn’t send a card in time for my birthday and even after I prompted him, what arrived was a postcard saying 'Life’s a beach' (I wasn’t even living by the beach) and no real message inside. I was just so confused and I felt so stupid for wanting a thoughtful birthday card but I think what I really wanted was for him to show that he cared and missed me. It seems like the tiniest thing, but it really was the end for me and our relationship didn’t last long after that."



"He asked me to marry him and I knew it was a no. I didn’t want a kid that was like him."


"When I said, 'you are so much like my dad.' My fiancé replied, 'you hate your dad and haven't spoken to him in years.' Mic drop. Engagement off."


"Him and his sister were extremely close and shared everything with each other. She called him while we were away together. She casually asked what he was doing and he responded with 'I'm just here with Clara'. She paused and asked 'who?' I realised then that he had never spoken about me to his closest friends or family, never told them that we were on holidays together, never gushed about what a great time we were having.To me, that was the clearest sign."


"I was out for dinner with my (now ex) husband and I was so bored by his company and the conversation. I thought, 'If we aren't talking about our kids and logistics, is this as good as it gets?' Turns out it isn't..."

If you want more culture opinions by Emily Vernem, you can follow her on Instagram @emilyvernem.

The women in this article are known to Mamamia, but their names have been changed to protect their privacy.

Feature image: Canva.

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