"Oh, I never liked Jack. He was boring. He wasn't right for you," my brutally honest, good friend Anna said to me earlier this year.
I shock-laughed, a little taken aback. This was news to me, even though my English ex-boyfriend and I had broken up a good seven years earlier. I was surprised because, although we didn't work out in the end for very important reasons, I didn't look back on our three-and-a-half year relationship with any particularly negative feelings, nor did I feel ill will towards him.
Also, when we were together, I had obviously thought that Jack and I were pretty suited to each other – softly spoken, grounded, 'nice' people, with good senses of humour and good heads on our shoulders. We barely fought or had any drama in our relationship. I had assumed he was 'my type'. Did that make me boring too?
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A fair few months later, the topic of our past lives in London came up again with our other good friend, Bre, and I relayed the Jack revelation that Anna had dropped on me. Level-headed Bre nodded, and said, "Jack was a nice guy but he didn't bring out the best in you. Luke does."
Luke is my husband. He was the first significant relationship I had after breaking up with my ex, and we knew pretty quickly that this was it. We had an instant attraction but I wouldn't say he was my usual type. Actually, he couldn't have been more different to my introverted, bookish ex – an boy from Sydney's Eastern suburbs, born and bred, a well-travelled surfer, down-to-earth tradie who didn't mind a party and had a million friends and a very healthy social life.
Though I never really thought about it (or the reasons), I agreed with Bre that Luke brought out the best in me – I wouldn't have married him otherwise! And that's when I had an epiphany about the people you date and the one you eventually end up marrying.