parent opinion

'I had a first birthday party for my son. I refuse to throw one for my daughter.'

These days it's not uncommon to see parents go all out for their kids' birthday parties.

We're talking lavish balloon decorations, food stations, open bars, petting zoos, expensive party favours, DJs... the works.

Perhaps it's an overhang from a generation of parents seeing the Kardashians throw their their children extravagant parties or maybe it's a trend with millennials wanting to go above and beyond the low-key celebrations they experienced as kids.

Whatever the reason, a lot of parents are going big and they're going hard with no stone left unturned and no party hat left unpersonalised. Because budget? What budget?

Watch: Kylie Jenner and Travis Scott sing Happy Birthday to Stormi. Story continues below.

Video via Mamamia.

And then of course there are the ones who are shirking the trend and going back to basics. Whether that's a sign of the cost of living crisis or simply wanting to better spend their money elsewhere, some mums and dads have no qualms about keeping their child's birthday free from bells and whistles. 

And a lot of them are unapologetic about it. Including one TikTok influencer, who has come forward to explain why she'll be bucking the trend and avoiding all the frills for her daughter's first birthday party.


Rachel, a mum of two, has explained that while they went all out for their son's first and second birthday party (complete with a margarita bar and a taco stand) — they'll be going bare bones for their daughter's party.

@rachonlife Cannot wait to celebrate HP’s first trip around the sun but I am not ready for her to grow up ❤️‍🩹 #rachonlife #firstbirthday #firstbirthdayparty #babybirthday ♬ original sound - rachel | mom stuff + lifestyle

Across the three-minute video, Rachel listed all the things she won't do this time around, and it has divided people in the comments section to say the least.

She wants everyone to *actually* leave by a certain time.

"I literally put 9:30am to 11am on the invitation," she said. "I want you all to know I don't want you at my house all day long."

And honestly? Fair enough. When you have young children it's probably not the era of your life to be having extended kick-ons. Rachel says that she needs to get her kids down for a nap and she doesn't expect guests to sacrifice thier entire Saturday. We reckon that's both efficient and respectful of guests' time!

There will be no meal served.

Given the early start time of the party Rachel encouraged her guests to eat breakfast before they arrive as there will be no meal served at the party. 

The caveat to this is that there will be snacks on hand but in short, don't turn up hungry. And in terms of a birthday cake for the one-year-old? That's a no too. Although she did explain that she planned to make "little coffee cakes" instead, and decorate them in the Harry Potter theme of the party. 

Don't expect any games.

Another thing Rachel was very adamant about is that she wouldn't be spending any money on this party, meaning there would be little in the way of extra-curricular activities.


"This is going to be a very '90s vibe birthday party," she explained, going on to say she'd pull out a ball pit and some toys in the backyard, and that's it.

"I'm not spending money on this," she said. "And I am an excessive shopper."

The 'no gifts' rule.

In line with the theme of keeping things extremely low-key, Rachel also told all guests not to bring any gifts for her daughter. "Homegirl needs nothing," she said. "She does not need anything and I am very picky I don't want you to buy sh*t for my kids."

We love sustainability.

If you insist on a gift, she wants... a new lawn?

Oh, there is one exception to the gift rule!

"If you feel inclined to bring something," she added, "consider $5 because we're trying to remodel, redo our backyard. Our backyard is a trainwreck. Bring us $5 to help us redo our backyard."

Zero alcohol policy.

While Rachel recognised that it's fairly common to serve alcohol (to adults) at kids' birthday parties these days, she said that they won't be at her daughter's event.

"We don't drink," she said. If you're thirsty, juice will be available.

As is commonplace with the internet, if you throw your opinion out there, chances are you'll get some pretty strong ones thrown back. And that's exactly what happened after Rachel shared her party rules.

After almost 700,000 views, there were plenty of comments from people in agreement with Rachel's list of party won't-dos...


"This makes TOTAL SENSE. I mean, they don't remember it at all, most kids already have so many clothes or toys by then and honestly giving them more..." one person wrote.

"Let’s make this the birthday party trend, please!? I want to be your friend!" wrote another.

"Actually, it's kind of refreshing. No big elaborate party and no $45-$50 gift, in and out by 11," said a user named Sheila.

But of course, there were those who were... strongly opposed to her approach.

"At this point why even invite guests? Just do an intimate cake cutting with mom, dad, brother and sister... if you want to include the Grandparents go for it," wrote one user.

"You make it sound like this party and your guests are just a pain in the ass and you’re putting yourself out for this party," wrote a commenter.

"Why even have a party? Call it what it is, yard go fund me," wrote one person.

"The warm hospitality vibes! Who wouldn’t feel welcome at this party?!" another joked.

At the end of the day a parents' opinion is exactly that — theirs to have and execute. Whether you're a hard disagree or feel inspired for your kid's next birthday, you have to admit — she has sorted herself out some pretty airtight boundaries. And that can only be commended.

Feature Image: TikTok/@rachonlife, Instagram/@rachonlife.

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