celebrity

Kate Middleton and Meghan Markle at Wimbledon: A very telling body language reading.

EXCUSE US.

Meghan Markle and Kate Middleton went out together on Saturday to watch the Women’s Wimbledon Final and, on the surface, appeared to be getting along just fine.

But that’s exactly what feuding royals want you to think. 

Ever since Meghan Markle had her big wedding and made Kate cry (ALLEGEDLY), there’s been rumours that the two Duchesses hate each other.

The root of their feud is remarkably unclear but we believe it has something to do with what we have termed The Charlotte Bridesmaid Dress Incident For Which We Have No Evidence.

According to a palace insider, Meghan and Kate had a heated argument about the fit of Charlotte’s bridesmaid dress, which left Kate in tears.

"Mummy cried!"
"Mummy cried!"

From there, Meghan was referred to as a "volatile dictator" which sounds excessive but we'll allow it.

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But when the two appeared at Wimbledon we saw it for ourselves.

The glares. The hand gestures. The pointing. 

Here's our highly accurate body language reading of exactly what happened on Saturday at Wimbledon.

Ahem.

First, as with any uncomfortable outing, it was important they acknowledge the awkwardness.

"Are her, ah, dresses fitting or..."
"Are her dresses fitting recently or..."

Once it was established that Charlotte was doing well, thanks, and wasn't permanently traumatised by her hysterical aunty Meghan, the two seemed to relax.

wedding
"I have lots of famous friends heheh."
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But their good spirits didn't last long, before two ladies seated nearby decided to remind them of the gossip, quoting palace insiders that had spoken to the Daily Mail.

"Kate told a source that she hates you!!"
"Meghan told a source that she hates you!!"

Uh oh.

"Oi you said shit about me?" Kate said to Meghan, but with a polite smile on her face for the cameras. "Charlotte was a diva in the lead up to my wedding, Kate, and you know it," Meghan replied.

That's when the pettiness began to unfold.

Kate alerted the paparazzi to Meghan's whereabouts.

"She's right over... there."
"She's just here. Right next to me."
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Before taking aim at Serena Williams.

"Kate, can you please stop booing her? It's embarrassing."
"Kate, can you please stop booing her? It's embarrassing."

That's when Pippa Middleton emerged from the ground with absolutely no warning.

meghan markle
"Can one of you guys let me out to pee? Please?"
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And Kate's behaviour considerably worsened.

"Tell Meghan I said she can't sit with us any more."
"Tell Meghan I said she can't sit with us any more."

Then Kate grew increasingly frustrated as her attempts at friendship failed to materialise.

"Maltesers, perhaps?"
"Maltesers, perhaps?"
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kate
"I'm feeling very faint I haven't eaten in a few hours..."
"Just something small. Like even a banana would do."
"Just something small. Like even a banana would do. But preferably chocolate."
kate middleton
"It clearly is a biggie, Kate."
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The three women were then asked to leave the premises immediately and told not to speak to each other as they did so.

"I don't like tennis anyway."
"I don't like tennis anyway."

Even though, upon first glance, the images from the event might look fairly innocuous, it doesn't take much to see that these were clearly two feuding women who were very badly behaved.

Because, after all, what's the alternative? That they're two women from the same family who happen to get along just fine?

Unlikely.

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