reality tv

11 deadly serious suggestions for Australia's next season of The Bachelor.

There are murmurs that Channel 10 are planning on axing The Bachelor.

It wouldn't be surprising: the ratings are so bad that we here at Mamamia stopped... recapping it (RIP), and some of the contestants didn't even gain enough Instagram followers to justify a teeth whitening deal.

Sorry, Bach. It's not you. It's us.

Watch: Bachelor contestants, translated. Post continues below video.


Video via Mamamia.

If any official decision has been made, we haven't been told of it yet. So, as a last-ditch attempt to save the franchise that kept us occupied for many winters, we have a few suggestions.

If you're from Channel 10, maybe grab a notepad or something. I've done very limited (read: zero) research into the relationship status/contractual obligations/actual existence of these men, but something could be helpful? Maybe?

Here are some options for who could be Osher's 2022 best friend:

Tony Armstrong.

Image: Getty.

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I mean, HELLO?

Is there a more obvious option?

Tony Armstrong is everywhere right now, and everyone loves him already. I can't think of anyone who could perform successful CPR on this dying format any better than him.

Dr Chris Brown.

With Julia Morris to host. Sorry, Osh. I didn't want to break it to you like this.

But imagine: "Who are you going to choose doctorrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr?"

Peter Bol.

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In August, Peter Bol's incredible showing at the Tokyo Olympics brought Australia together. Do you know what else used to bring Australia together? Watching The Bachelor, that's what!

Peter Bol is passionate, dedicated and charismatic, and surely filming could be worked around his training schedule??

Tommy Little.

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Idk, it just feels weird that this hasn't happened already. So just to tick that box, ya know?

Justin Narayan.

Yes, I'm pretty sure the 2021 MasterChef winner just got married. But don't all the MAFS stars have relationships 'on the outside' too???

Michael Hing.

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Michael Hing is a radio host, TV host and comedian, so he's more than qualified to hand out roses and wave goodbye as Osher whispers women out of the room.

He'd also be genuinely funny, and not just 'ha ha wtf did he just say' way that Honey Badger was funny.

Simon Baker.

Turns out Simon Baker and Rebecca Rigg split in 2020 after 29 years of marriage, so this could work. Plus, it'd be nice to watch a Bachelor season that's not entirely made up of people in their early 20s.

A River Boy.

What a TIME this was. Image: Seven.

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Has anything excited Australian women more than the introduction of Home and Away's OG River Boys, Brax, Heath and Casey did in 2011? It was a truly beautiful time and I for one think we could do with that feeling again.

Sure, these are fictional characters, which poses some problems... logistically, but I WOULD WATCH THE SH*T OUT OF THIS. 

IT COULD EVEN BE MULTIPLE RIVER BOYS AT THE SAME TIME.

RIVER BOY THROUPLES.

G Flip.

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Let's keep the world-first representation going after Brooke Blurton's Bachelorette season with G Flip as the first non-binary Bachie plssssssssss. 

Adam Demos.

The Australian actor from THAT Netflix show featuring THAT shower scene is currently in Australia for filming. So, that's handy. He's also played a version of the Bachelor before in season three of UnReal, so he would know what he's getting himself in for.

Don't tell his co-star/real-life girlfriend though.

Ted Lasso.

Image: Apple TV+.

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No. Not Jason Sudeikis. Specifically Ted Lasso, the character. Thanks.

And that's my list exhausted. 

This could be our very last chance at suggesting a Bachelor - who are you adding?

Chelsea McLaughlin is Mamamia's Senior Entertainment Writer. For more pop culture takes, sarcasm and... cat content, you can follow her on Instagram.

Feature image: Getty/Channel 10.

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