Taylor Swift, Harry Styles and a wild internet theory about a snow mobile.

Harry Styles is a man of many talents, but nobody is perfect. Everyone has their flaws. For example, Styles can't... act, or, more importantly for this particular story, drive. 

On October 27, Taylor Swift released 1989 (Taylor's Version), the re-recorded version of her 2014 album 1989 and the fourth release on her mission to reclaim ownership of her first six albums. 

There are a few key takeaways: the album is a pop classic featuring banger after banger after banger, situationships are ROUGH, and Harry Styles – with whom she was in the aforementioned situationship – is a terrible, terrible driver.

That's funny enough on its own, I reckon. But the insistence that he can't drive has been so strong, that it has even spawned a long-standing conspiracy theory involving a snowmobile and the pair of them covering up an accidental death.

In December 2012, Swift and Styles went on a skiing holiday in Utah with another famous young couple at the time, Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez. Most details from the trip were kept extremely private considering the truly chaotic public interest, but just days before the new year images of Styles with a chin injury emerged.

He had, we would later learn via lyric, received 20 stitches following a snowmobile accident where Swift was also present. In the decade since, the story has been... scrutinised and uh... morphed, into a completely batsh*t but genuinely entertaining theory that Styles and Swift were involved in a secret vehicular manslaughter incident, which they covered up and then documented in their music.

Unhinged? Absolutely. But funny? You have to admit, it really is.

The crux of this story is how often Swift, in songs on 1989, refers to Styles' truly horrifying driving.

You may have been led to believe that 'Style', which contains 5/6 letters in Styles last name and therefore leaves no room for debate about its muse, is about a relationship you're unable to fully quit even though you know it is not quite right. 

But no, it's mostly just about bad driving.

thank you harry styles for not being able to drive, having green eyes, long hair, and wearing white tshirts

— e (@scriptedesny_) October 27, 2023

For example: 'Midnight, you come and pick me up, no headlights', Swift sings in the opening line. Midnight is no time to be driving around without headlights. That is very reckless.

Swift seems to understand the dangers of hitting wildlife and/or a person, because "long drive, could end in burning flames or paradise," she continues. Perhaps it is a metaphor for their messy situationship. Or perhaps it is about... something worse.

Then there is this: "So it goes, he can't keep his wild eyes on the road". Damning! If the opportunity ever presents itself (don't give up on your dreams), I impore you: DO NOT GET INTO A CAR WITH THIS MAN.

There is further evidence of bad driving in 'All You Had To Do Was Stay', a frankly underrated 1989 track that makes me feel like kicking down a door. "All I know is that you drove us off the road," Swift sings in the opening verse. What more do I need to say about that? She literally spells it out.

Next we have reached the vehicular manslaughter truthers' ultimate evidence: 'Out of the Woods'.

"Remember when you hit the brakes too soon, 20 stitches in a hospital room," Swift sings in the (perfect) bridge. There is the direct acknowledgement of the vehicular manslaughter snowmobile accident.

The entire chorus of the song is Swift wondering if they're out of a tough spot – "Are we out of the woods yet? Are we in the clear yet?" – she repeats. It could be another anxious reaction to the instability of a situationship, or it could be about evading responsibility after a hit-and-run.

"Can you believe we got away with it lol" Image: Getty.

If you really want to jump the shark (I mean, we've come this far...) other 1989 songs could reference their (alleged!!!!!) crime too. On the surface, 'I Know Places' seems to be about finding for privacy when you're some of the most famous people in the world. 

But it could also be about knowing where to hide a body.

'Clean' is definitely about realising you are finally over someone, but what if it has the added layer of being about realising you are finally over someone you were accidentally involved in a fatal accident with?

With the release of 1989 (Taylor's Version), Swift provided one new additional dig at the fact that Styles should not ever be allowed behind a wheel.

"When you lost control, red blood, white snow," she sings on the new vault track 'Is It Over Now?', a song that did not make the original album. It brings me great joy that she will never let him forget that he can't drive for sh*t.

WHEN YOU LOST CONTROL??? RED BLOOD??? WHITE SNOW??? never beating the vehicular manslaughter allegations i fear

— emma⸆⸉ (@sprksflyswft) October 27, 2023

Then there's Styles' music, which may or may not point to deep guilt.

In 'Two Ghosts', a song from his debut album, he sings direct parallels to lyrics from 'Style': "Same lips red, same eyes blue, same white shirt, couple more tattoos, but it's not you and it's not me". Big Taylor and Harry energy, that. 

And then the chorus becomes... suspicious.

"We're not who we used to be, we're just two ghosts standing in the place of you and me, trying to remember how it feels to have a heartbeat."

Excuse you? A long-gone heartbeat, metaphorically referencing the death of a relationship like somebody would have before being hit by a car/snowmobile? 

Case closed, obviously, but I'd also just like to add my own little piece of evidence. On his most recent album, Styles released a song called 'Keep Driving', about just keeping on with a loved one while everything else is going downhill. But if the conspiracy stands true (it doesn't) and Styles and Swift were involved in a deadly crash (they weren't), well, it could also be a reference to their immediate response (it's not).

I am not sure where this fits on the scale of celebrity conspiracy theories – which often include allegations that every dead celebrity is not dead and that many alive celebrities are actually dead – but it surely has to be up there.

Death or not (it's definitely not - please don't sue me), there are lessons to be had here. 

1989 (Taylor's Version) is about reinvention, dating in your early 20s and how, sometimes it's best to just go out and dance with your friends. 

But mostly, the biggest takeaway, is to never, ever under any circumstances let Harry Styles drive.

Feature image: Getty.

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