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Mamamia recaps Game of Thrones season 8 episode 1: Finally. Jon Snow knows something.

Warning: This post contains A LOT of spoilers for the Game of Thrones season 8 episode 1 premiere.

Oh boy. Here we go again.

We’re back for yet another season of Game of Thrones and we’re not sure if we should be feeling excited or a lil’ bit terrified.

No really, I am SO STRESSED.

We open on Winterfell and Jon Snow and Daenerys Targaryen have arrived with their armies.

We unpack everything that happened in episode 1 on our Mamamia Recaps podcast. Post continues after audio…

Jon finally reunites with Sansa and Bran but WE KNOW WHAT YOU’RE DOING TO US HBO.

We get it. This is the episode that will make us feel all warm and fuzzy inside before THE REST OF THEM RIP OUR HEARTS OUT.

They gather in Winterfell’s great hall and it’s clear not everyone is happy about the arrangement.

Sansa is serving Dany some serious side eye and Sansa, pls. How dare you be so polite to Littlefinger for frankly far too long and then disrespect Dany like this. She has dragons.

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Oh boy.

Little Lady Mormont is back and she's still everyone's favourite character because a) we're not quite sure where she ever comes from, and b) she's absurdly sassy. She calls out Jon for giving up his crown and EUGH she should be the King in the North ffs.

"You left Winterfell a King and came back. I'm not sure what you are now, a lord? Or nothing at all?" she asks Jon.

Yes, well. He's Dany's boyfriend so there's that.

Stop.

Jon and Arya Stark have reunited and nothing else matters. We can go home now.

WE ARE NOT OKAY.

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OUR HEARTS.
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We cut to King's Landing and Cersei Lannister is mad because she couldn't get any elephants for battle.

Dragons? Check. Zombies? Check. Elephants? Yeah, nah. Not in Game of Thrones.

OhEuron Greyjoy is here and he's still trying to win Cersei's heart. Look, Euron, we're sorry, but no one compares to Cersei's brother (ew).

"My heart is nearly broken," he says and suddenly we've gone from watching Game of Thrones to watching Farmer Pirate Wants A Wife. Please, we've watched enough reality TV this year.

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Pls, no.

Eventually, Euron gets his way. He proclaims that he's going to put a prince in Cersei's belly and does she already have a child in there WE CANNOT BE SURE.

Elsewhere in King's Landing, Bronn is hanging out with some ~ladies~.

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The women are discussing a ginger Lannister soldier named 'Eddie' who we're told had his face burned off by a dragon and wait a minute, ARE THEY TALKING ABOUT ED SHEERAN?!

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Look, we're still not over this.

But before we can find out, Qyburn interrupts and brings Bronn the crossbow that Tyrion used to kill Tywin Lannister. Cersei has asked Bronn to kill Tyrion AND Jamie and no, we can't take this sh*t anymore.

No. More. Killing.

Everyone. Needs. To. Chill.

Meanwhile, Theon Greyjoy saves his sister Yara and honestly, it's been so long since this show was on the air that we sort of just forgot about her existence. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

We're back in Winterfell and Jon and Dany are finally riding the dragons together.

Jon is losing his sh*t and honestly, same.

game of thrones season 8 episode 1 recap
WILL SOMEBODY PLEASE HELP THIS POOR MAN?
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They stop and kiss and uh, no offence Bran but when are you going to drop the bombshell that Dany is actually Jon's aunty? It's becoming uncomfortable for all of us.

After returning to Winterfell, Dany tells Samwell that she killed his family.

He's crying and oh, Sam. Sweetie.

But wait... it's happening. SAM IS GOING TO TELL JON THE TRUTH.

Bran knew. Sam knew. Even the f*cking dragons probably knew and now Jon Snow finally knows something.

"Your mother was Lyanna Stark and your father was Rhaegar Targaryen. You've never been a bastard. You are Aegon Targaryen – the heir to the Iron Throne."

Have a seat, Jon Snow. Or should we say Aegon?

Elsewhere beyond the wall, we finally have confirmation that Tormund and Beric survived Viserion's attack on the Wall. Thank god.

The pair make their way around a creepy castle where they find a young boy dead and nailed to the wall. Suddenly, the boy's eyes open and he lets out a horrific scream. We're slightly confused and also... terrified.

Back in Winterfell, Jamie Lannister has arrived and he's made eye contact with Bran.

It's like that weird, awkward moment when you run into your high school bully at the grocery store and we're uncomfortable.

We’ve heard fan theories that Arya or Cersei could kill Jamie in the end but maybe Bran will be the one to do it after all. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Either way, if I walk outside tonight and Bran is staring at me, I'm calling the police. He needs a hobby. That isn't... waiting. Outside. In the cold.

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