To quote the inimitable Salt-N-Pepa, let’s talk about sex. Or, more specifically, let’s talk about oral sex and Game of Thrones.
This week in Season 7’s second episode, fans were treated to one of the most incredible female-focused sex scenes of all time between Grey Worm (a eunuch) and Missandrei (Daenerys Targaryen’s translator and handmaid).
The fact that said scene finally provided an answer to their will-they-won't-they storyline that's been going on for three seasons didn't hurt either, but mostly, it was all about the moment Grey Worm performed cunnilingus on Missandrei. It was an act that was made famous in Season 3, when Ned Stark's bastard son and man of the Night's Watch Jon Snow headed into a cave with Ygritte the Wildling and not only lost his virginity but also discovered the act that is going down on someone.
"That thing you did with your mouth," Ygritte said after their encounter. "Is that what Lords do to their ladies in the South?"
Feigning ignorance, Jon claimed he was previously unaware of the practice.
"I don't know, I just wanted to kiss you there is all. You seemed to like it," he replied, suggesting that oral sex was an act he'd never heard of or seen or known until that point in time.
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And for three long seasons following, fans of the show believed him. Given how few and far between consensual female-focused sex scenes are included in Game of Thrones, it actually seemed plausible that no man in the Seven Kingdoms had respected or loved women enough to consider pleasuring them before Jon Snow met Ygritte.
But this week that all changed when we learned that reciprocal sex acts have been around THE WHOLE DAMNED TIME, we just had to head to the wild worlds of the unsullied lands to find it.
Ugh, Game of Thrones, why did you hold out on us for seven long (and I do mean bloody long) seasons? WHY?
Kit Harrington/Jon Snow if you're reading this, please stop lying about sex acts Rob Stark and Theon definitely told you about when you were kicking it in Winterfell.
George R. R. Martin if you're reading this, more cunnilingus, please. K thanks, bye.