‘I went into the delivery room as a fit triathlete. I came out an empty shell.’

Motherhood is a transformative journey filled with love, joy, and dreams for the future. But for some, myself included, this path may also come with unexpected challenges, leaving emotional and physical scars that reshape us at our core.

Eight years ago, as I cradled my newborn in my arms, little did I know that my journey into motherhood would take an unforeseen turn. 

After enduring a traumatic birth experience, I was diagnosed with a significant three-compartment pelvic organ prolapse (POP), a condition where the organs of the pelvic region can no longer stay in place. The initial diagnosis was devastating, and it left me feeling overwhelmed, lost, and questioning my identity as a woman and a mother. 

I went into the delivery room a 35-year-old, fit triathlete, super organised, and thought I had done all the right preparation to bring my baby girl into this world - and I came out an empty shell. I had no clue what had just happened and what was about to come in the following months and years of physical, mental, and emotional recovery that is still ongoing.

Watch: Birth trauma and the impact on women's health. Post continues below. 

The aftermath of birth trauma and living with pelvic organ prolapse can be a labyrinth of emotions and physical challenges. The physical pain was indescribable, and every movement reminded me of my body's vulnerability. 

I was grappling with grief, frustration, anger, and fear, wondering if I would ever feel whole again. I felt very alone as I navigated this new reality. 

I've been angry, tried blaming others, tried drinking my sorrows away, pushed people away, and blamed myself for failing childbirth. I've attempted legal action, had to make some life-changing decisions and struggled so much physically. 

And because my injuries are invisible to the outside world, the mental struggles are real.

I quickly learned that healing is not a linear process. It takes courage to seek support and find strength in vulnerability. Connecting with other women who’ve experienced birth trauma and pelvic organ prolapse proved to be a pivotal turning point. 

Through writing about my path to motherhood, I embarked on a journey of healing through acceptance and understanding that it is not a destination but an ongoing process. 

Stephanie and her two kids today. Image: Supplied.

Healing doesn't mean everything returns to how it was before. 

At one time, I thought my prolapse could be fixed, and because of the physical injuries that I still live with every day, I have that reminder constantly swirling around my head. 

I had my heart set on having surgery and being able to write the sequel to my book, 'The Day My Vagina Broke' that I wanted to title, 'The Day My Vagina Was Fixed.' 

When I realised however that this day was never coming, I realised I had to be one with my pelvic organ prolapse. And since then, I have lived every day searching high and low for ways to feel better about it, leaving no stone unturned.

While I've made significant progress over the years through personal and professional development, there are daily moments when the physical pain resurfaces, reminding me of the trauma I've endured.

In those moments, I've learned to be more gentle with myself, how to take a break and seek support when needed.

Looking back, I believe that a ‘Birth Debrief’ would have been instrumental in my healing process. Instead of being told I "did a great job and just to go and enjoy my baby," a compassionate and honest conversation about my birth experience would have validated my feelings and helped me piece together my physical injuries. 

Listen to Mamamia's podcast for all things birth, The Delivery Room. Post continues below.

New mothers commonly have conflicting emotions after a traumatic birth, often because they are told very little. This is especially true for first-time mothers, as they know no different. I only wish I had the opportunity to process my feelings and seek understanding during those early days.

As I continue to heal and grow, my advocacy for women living with pelvic organ prolapse remains steadfast. While the acute trauma space may no longer be where I find solace, I stand in solidarity with those still navigating this space and the early stages of their healing. 

My experiences have taught me the power of finding joy and strength beyond trauma, and I hope to empower others to do the same. 

During Birth Trauma Awareness Week, it's crucial to create conversations that empower women and give them hope amid their struggles. 

My story is a testament to the strength that lies within every woman who faces the challenges of birth trauma and pelvic organ prolapse. 

By sharing my journey of healing and empowerment, I hope to inspire others to find their own paths to healing and embrace their unique stories. 

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A post shared by Stephanie | Author & Founder (@bravemumma)

We all know that it’s preferable to be working towards prevention over treatment. For prevention to be successful, I am focussing my energy on future generations by breaking the silence and stigmas surrounding women’s health literacy today. For example, we need to be okay with simply saying the word ‘vagina’. 

If you've experienced birth trauma and want to create meaningful change, now is the time to share your story. The New South Wales Parliament is conducting an inquiry into birth trauma, providing a crucial opportunity for your voice to be heard and your experiences to be acknowledged. 

This inquiry aims to shed light on the challenges faced by mothers during childbirth, including the emotional and physical impacts of birth trauma. By sharing your story, you can help raise awareness, break the silence surrounding birth trauma, and advocate for better support and care for our future generations. Your words can spark positive change and empower others to find healing and hope after birth trauma.  

We can create a world where understanding and compassion replace silence and stigma. Let us stand tall, raise our voices, and reclaim the joy and fulfilment that giving life has to offer. 

In solidarity, we can write a new chapter of strength and resilience, where our stories become beacons of hope for generations to come.

Stephanie Thompson is a mother, author, and advocate for women's health. Her own journey through birth trauma and pelvic organ prolapse inspired her to create the Bravemumma website, a platform dedicated to empowering women with shared experiences and supporting them through the challenges of motherhood. 

Stephanie's two books, ‘The Day My Vagina Broke - What They Don't Tell You About Childbirth’ and ‘Tips and Tricks for Living with Prolapse,’ have become lifelines for women seeking understanding and guidance. 

Feature Image: Supplied.