Yes, there is life after cheating.
Sometimes a life even better than it was before.
Five years ago, I wrote an article for Mamamia, entitled ‘A Letter to My Husband's Mistress’. Out of respect for my ex, I concealed his identity.
Watch: Relationship deal breakers. Post continues below.
This week, he’s on a national TV show, sharing his experience being on the other side of adultery.
As confronting as it is to have it all brought to the surface again, it’s interesting to look back and see how things have changed.
Since then, we have officially divorced and finalised the formalities of separating of our lives.
I have grown a business, another baby and a great relationship.
My ex, my partner, our children and I have celebrated almost every Christmas and birthday together, at times including all three of our extended families.
We’ve enjoyed countless Sunday night dinners, and even travelled overseas for a trip to Thailand together. We’ve created some beautiful memories that I know our daughter will treasure.
At times I’ve cried to my ex. At times he’s cried to me.
We’ve fought and argued, talked and not talked. We’ve hurt each other and at times we’ve helped each other heal. We are still weaving our way through it all, and we’ll continue to.
Some people find it hard to understand. They assume that for me to still care about him, it must mean I’m still in love with him. I’m not. I promise. But I don’t hate him either.
He’s a human being and he’s the father of my child.
His mistake doesn’t define him, and it doesn’t need to haunt him. He’s lost many friendships as a result of his affair, and he’s had potential relationships fizzle as a result of it too.
It doesn’t bring me satisfaction to see that. My healing does not require his suffering.
Following that article, and the subsequent articles written about it, I’ve received countless emails from people around the world who’ve been cheated on, asking how to get on the other side of it.