Before we get into the nitty gritty of the wedding guest list and who you can ditch, let͛’s do a little bit of an imagination exercise. I͛’d say close your eyes but as you are reading this, that would be daft.
I want you to think about all of the weddings that you’ve attended. How many of those weddings do you feel like you were an obligation guest at? Someone who wasn’t perhaps on the A list?
No judgement. This is a safe place. It’s a harsh question to ask, but stay with me.
Perhaps you went to a co-worker’s wedding, or your second cousin’s wedding, or someone from college that you haven’t seen for ten years. Of course, they wanted you there, but perhaps you were on the B or even C list.
Perhaps they invited you out of obligation.
Now I’d like you to think of the last time that you saw that co-worker, or you had dinner or drinks with your second cousin… not including Christmas. When did you last catch up with a uni friend, not on Facebook or Twitter, but a one-on-one conversation?
Now, remember the wedding day where you were that obligation guest. By the way, I know there are some of you out there who are saying, “I have never been an obligation guest, because I am always on the A list.”
Wake up. We’ve all been obligation guests. I know it, and you know it. I’m glad you went and I hope you ate and drank a tonne.
A lot of people really struggle when it comes to deciding who should be at their wedding day. Without breaking up families and friendships, and causing international incidents – so many fights, bad vibes and ill feelings come from this one decision, as I deep dive on in the latest episode of Hitched.
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When you look back at the wedding photos, you want to feel good about it, and hopefully remember everyone in them!
After that little exercise, I’m hoping there are a few people on your wedding guest list you realise now potentially are obligation guests. The one thing about being an obligation guest, and knowing that you’re an obligation guest, is that you probably won’t be that offended if you don’t get invited.
In the spirit of saving on cost per head, here are my top three obligation guests you can cut from your guest list immediately.
1. The co- worker
Do you like your job and your work people? Great.
But… will you be working there in five years? Do you see your co-workers socially (not just work drinks)? Have they met your partner? Do you know their partner? Would you take them to a high-end restaurant and buy them dinner and drinks? Do you actually like them as real friends and not just office friends who’ve bonded over a mutual disdain of the boss?
If you didn’t answer yes to all of these questions, don’t feel obliged to invite all of your co-workers. That’s a rookie guest list mistake.