weddings

Three people you can ditch from your wedding guest list immediately without feeling guilty.

Before we get into the nitty gritty of the wedding guest list and who you can ditch, let͛’s do a little bit of an imagination exercise. I͛’d say close your eyes but as you are reading this, that would be daft.

Ready? OK.

I want you to think about all of the weddings that you’ve attended. How many of those weddings do you feel like you were an obligation guest at? Someone who wasn’t perhaps on the A list?

No judgement. This is a safe place. It’s a harsh question to ask, but stay with me.

Perhaps you went to a co-worker’s wedding, or your second cousin’s wedding, or someone from college that you haven’t seen for ten years. Of course, they wanted you there, but perhaps you were on the B or even C list.

Perhaps they invited you out of obligation.

Now I’d like you to think of the last time that you saw that co-worker, or you had dinner or drinks with your second cousin… not including Christmas. When did you last catch up with a uni friend, not on Facebook or Twitter, but a one-on-one conversation?

Now, remember the wedding day where you were that obligation guest. By the way, I know there are some of you out there who are saying, “I have never been an obligation guest, because I am always on the A list.”

Wake up. We’ve all been obligation guests. I know it, and you know it. I’m glad you went and I hope you ate and drank a tonne.

A lot of people really struggle when it comes to deciding who should be at their wedding day. Without breaking up families and friendships, and causing international incidents – so many fights,  bad vibes and ill feelings come from this one decision, as I deep dive on in the latest episode of Hitched.

Want to hear to more? Subscribe to Hitched here.

When you look back at the wedding photos, you want to feel good about it, and hopefully remember everyone in them!

After that little exercise, I’m hoping there are a few people on your wedding guest list you realise now potentially are obligation guests. The one thing about being an obligation guest, and knowing that you’re an obligation guest, is that you probably won’t be that offended if you don’t get invited.

In the spirit of saving on cost per head, here are my top three obligation guests you can cut from your guest list immediately.

1. The co- worker

Do you like your job and your work people? Great.

But… will you be working there in five years? Do you see your co-workers socially (not just work drinks)? Have they met your partner? Do you know their partner? Would you take them to a high-end restaurant and buy them dinner and drinks? Do you actually like them as real friends and not just office friends who’ve bonded over a mutual disdain of the boss?

If you didn’t answer yes to all of these questions, don’t feel obliged to invite all of your co-workers. That’s a rookie guest list mistake.

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2. Your parents’ friends

If your parents or in-laws are contributing money to your wedding and holding the guest list over your head, that’s PGLB. Parental Guest List Blackmail.

Let them have their own parties and invite Barry and Carol from Bridge. Ask them, how important these extra guests are to them. Is it because they’re trying to keep up with the Joneses? Do they want to show you off?

Instead of paying $300 to have them to be at your wedding, send them a nice card with a wedding photo and avoid having the bill and inviting virtual strangers.

Speaking of strangers and weirdos at your wedding, here’s an honest run down of things people never say at weddings. Any of these lines sound familiar? Post continues after video.

3. The partners of friends you’ve never met

My husband and I set a firm rule with our guest list – no one was to be invited that both of us haven’t met.

Remember, if you’re having a small wedding, you can’t stretch the numbers. Not even if the groom’s best friend has met someone he says is the one but you’ve never met them.

Let them have their third date at a restaurant, not at your wedding.

Remember that, you and your partner are the team. Go through the pros and cons of who you want there, and work it out together.

My final piece of advice on the guest list, the most important piece of information I can give you is…

You don’t want to have anyone at your wedding you have to pretend to be happy to see. Ditch them.

You shouldn’t have to fake smile on your wedding day.

Do you regret inviting anyone to your wedding? Did you feel pressured to invite them?

Love weddings or getting married and need to ask all the questions about venues, flowers, photographers, wedding dresses, EVERYTHING? Come join Mamamia’s wedding planning podcast Facebook group Hitched.

This post was originally published on Bridechilla and was republished here with full permission.

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