Before we get into the nitty gritty of the wedding guest list and who you can ditch, let͛’s do a little bit of an imagination exercise. I͛’d say close your eyes but as you are reading this, that would be daft.
Ready? OK.
I want you to think about all of the weddings that you’ve attended. How many of those weddings do you feel like you were an obligation guest at? Someone who wasn’t perhaps on the A list?
No judgement. This is a safe place. It’s a harsh question to ask, but stay with me.
Perhaps you went to a co-worker’s wedding, or your second cousin’s wedding, or someone from college that you haven’t seen for ten years. Of course, they wanted you there, but perhaps you were on the B or even C list.
Perhaps they invited you out of obligation.
Now I’d like you to think of the last time that you saw that co-worker, or you had dinner or drinks with your second cousin… not including Christmas. When did you last catch up with a uni friend, not on Facebook or Twitter, but a one-on-one conversation?
Now, remember the wedding day where you were that obligation guest. By the way, I know there are some of you out there who are saying, “I have never been an obligation guest, because I am always on the A list.”
Wake up. We’ve all been obligation guests. I know it, and you know it. I’m glad you went and I hope you ate and drank a tonne.
A lot of people really struggle when it comes to deciding who should be at their wedding day. Without breaking up families and friendships, and causing international incidents – so many fights, bad vibes and ill feelings come from this one decision, as I deep dive on in the latest episode of Hitched.
Top Comments
I think that planning a wedding is a really stressful time, that can easily lead to fractured relationships. The advice that is given in this article, and in others (get a wedding planner because "can talk your mother-in-law out of a panic attack when she sees the maid of honour’s thigh tattoo") is really harsh. The wedding is one day and relationships are often for life. If your parents pay for a lot of the wedding but can't invite any of their friends - who may have known the bride for years is really tough. It's your day - do what you want. I was a marriage celebrant for years and saw lots of weddings. Many brides really wish they hadn't burnt relationships at what should have been a really happy time. Spend less money and look back with genuine happiness at the joy that your wedding brought yourself and others.
My mother. I regret inviting my mother. She yelled at me repeatedly on the morning of, including seconds before my walk down the aisle, and gave an offensive toast (after being asked not to give a toast at all). If I could do it over, I would not invite her - to hell with the consequences.