Firstly, congrats on your engagement. With the big announcement comes big decisions and often we feel inclined to make them quickly.
We get excited and jump in before we’re really ready.
Our friends and family immediately ask us a bunch of questions that no doubt 98 per cent of us have no answers for…
“When are you getting married? Where are you getting married? How many people will you invite? How much will it cost? Where will you get the money to pay for it all? Who are your bridesmaids? Will it be an outside wedding? Church wedding? What will your dress look like? Can I bring a date?”
STOP. ASKING. QUESTIONS. YOU. KNOW. WE. DON’T. HAVE. ANSWERS. FOR.
I know, they ask because they care but it also can send couples into a downward spiral to making decisions and paying for stuff they don't need due to this underlying pressure to give answers and feel like they have things locked in.
This is where it's easy to lose your chill and feel overwhelmed with the whole process before it has even begun.
So, put down the wedding planning jumbo folder, step away from the 28 Pinterest boards and before you pay for anything or make any decisions, go through these three simple steps.
1. Bask in it
There is something rather wonderful about enjoying the moment and really taking it all in.
Riding the happiness wave of finding your fellow weirdo and agreeing to love each and put up with each other's sh*t for an age.
How often do you get engaged?
Perhaps you were surprised by the proposal, maybe you proposed to each other or have been planning it for years. Either way, the engagement time, the time before you become a two person wedding planning super machine, is a time to really enjoy and celebrate.
Sure, buy a few magazines (listen to a wedding planning podcast or 100) but make sure you allow yourself to enjoy the wonderful feeling of anticipation and let the joy of moment really simmer… drink champagne, eat cake let people be happy for you and celebrate…A LOT.
The Mamamia team share their biggest wedding regrets, so you can learn from our mistakes. Post continues after video.
2. Be honest
Before you make any plans, make sure you sit down and have a proper chat with your partner about your expectations of your wedding day and more importantly marriage. Not to get too heavy on you here but a wedding is, with any luck, an introduction to a long and happy life together.
A love merger.
A team maker!
What do you both want? What do you call a successful marriage? This may seem obvious but have told each other?
Start the journey off together on the same path…maybe you envisage a 300-guest wedding week extravaganza and your partner always imagined getting hitched in a bookshop with 12 people?
Having an open discussion and hearing each other’s thoughts and opinions early on before you spend any money or make commitments will ensure you are both celebrating at the same event and make it far more likely that you will be equally invested in the planning of it!
3. Start the money conversations
Are you on the same page when it comes to cash? Perhaps you are already sharing accounts and live together? Maybe this is your first foray into being a financial duo?
Along with the conversation about what sort of day (and future) you would like to share together, an invaluable discussion to have early on is about cash and your priorities, particularly around what you value when it comes to your wedding and what are the ‘necessities’ or non-negotiables of the day and honeymoon.
Wedding planning can be fun but for some people it can be a sh*tshow and that is ok. There are a lot of decisions to make, opinions to be heard (or blocked out) and let's be honest event planning isn't a natural environment for a lot of us, but if you are level-headed and work together, it’ll be a blast.
Flash the bling, accept all overs of champagne toasts, have an engagement party (or don't!) and figure out what you both truly want before booking the big band and avenue… because it’s your day! Together!
For more brilliant wedding planning advice from Aleisha McCormack, get the first episode of Mamamia's wedding podcast Hitched in your ears below.
What are your personal wedding planning tips? Tell us in the comments.