My answer? “How long is a piece of string?”
As teenagers and even young adults, we’re reluctant to look inwards. We don’t care about being self-aware, we don’t notice our behavioural patterns and how they may be affecting the relationships in our lives and we generally won’t seek the help or guidance of say, a professional, unless we find ourselves at rock bottom.
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Since turning 30 in 2017 however, I’ve done the complete opposite.
I’ve sought out all the help I could get, both in the traditional western medicine world and alternative therapies. I’ve spoken with psychologists and psychics. Kinesiologists, meditation teachers, acupuncturists, reiki healers, GPs, life coaches and even a clinical neuropsychologist.
Why? Because I am intelligent enough and self-aware enough to recognise the fact that my childhood, amongst other factors, has impacted me in a negative way and I wanted to get to the bottom of it. I wanted to work on myself, to better myself.
I wanted to understand who I was and where I’d been and why I am the person I am today.
I wanted to be the best version of myself. And I wasn’t too proud to ask for help in getting there.
Yes, it was scary. Terrifying in fact. And emotionally draining. I have lost count at the number of appointments I have left, soggy tissues in hand. Appointments where I drag my heavy boots back to my car and just rest my forehead on my steering wheel for a while, collecting myself so that I’m able to drive home.