Mamamia recaps The Bachelorette: We have our first 'dog act' of the season.

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We open on Osher, who is surrounded by a frankly obscene amount of fairy lights.

"Welcome to an unprecedented seventh season of The Bachelorette, a season set to be the most momentous ever," he announces.

"For the first time in 20 years of Bachelor and Bachelorette history anywhere in the world, Australia's sweetheart Brooke Blurton has become the world's first bisexual Bachelorette."

Watch The Bachelorette 2021 trailer below. Post continues after video.

Yes, this season, Channel 10 have added a little bit of ✨ spice ✨ to The Bachelorette. And we couldn't be more excited.

But before we can get to Brooke's history-changing season, we immediately flash back to Brooke's time with Nick Cummins aka the Honey Badger.

Ah, yes, 2018. 

Remember when the worst thing in the news was the Honey Badger picking no one? 

We owe Honey Badger an apology. Image: Channel 10. 

A Bachelor who chose no one was literally the worst thing that happened to us that month. LIFE WAS SO BLOODY SIMPLE.

But enough about Honey Badger.

Because Brooke is getting ready to walk the red carpet.

After a traditional Welcome to Country, Osher asks Brooke how she's feeling.

"I can't honestly put it into words," she says.

"I'm so excited for all those little 10-year-old Brookes that feel represented and feel proud to just be who they are with no judgement."

IT'S BEEN 10 MINUTES AND WE'RE ALREADY TEARY-EYED.

Okay, it's happening. It's red carpet time.

The first contestant to arrive is Holly. She's a 27-year-old dancer. And yes, she wants to slow dance with Brooke. Obviously.

Definitely a wifey. Image: Channel 10.

Next up we have landscaper Darvid, who rocks up on a ride-on lawn mower. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

"Osher hired me." Image: Channel 10.

Darvid and Brooke share Persian tea on the steps of the mansion, before Darvid presents Brooke with a... magic lamp.

Yep, we're sensing frontrunner vibes.

Next up we have photographer Beau aka the ultimate #instagramboyfriend.

"The gram will bloody love this." Image: Channel 10.

"You're looking cute AF," Beau tells Brooke, before whipping out his camera for an awkward impromptu photoshoot. 

"That's the money shot girl, damn," he says.

"I've got my own personal stash of photos already."

Oh...

via GIPHY

OSHER. YOU NEED TO ESCORT THIS MAN OUT OF THE MANSION IMMEDIATELY.

Next we have psychologist Carissa. She shares she felt drawn to Brooke after seeing her photo, AND IS THAT THE SPARKLY WINNERS MUSIC WE CAN HEAR?!

ANOTHER WIFEY, PLS. Image: Channel 10.

Oh. It seems a tradie has arrived at the mansion. 

Couldn't they have scheduled repairs for... later? Image: Channel 10.

Carpenter Konrad is here, and he's brought some... wood.

He asks Brooke to help him put together a wooden chair and if this isn't the ultimate relationship test; we don't know what is.

After a string of other contestants, we meet Matt, who decides to rap for Brooke, Jess, who brings Brooke a plate of brownies, Emily, who shows up with a miniature pony named Elvis, and Johann, who screams with delight after walking the red carpet.

Just a man with his microphone and a woman with her brownies. Image: Channel 10.

But wait. This next contestant looks... familiar. IT'S JAMIE-LEE FROM THE HONEY BADGER'S SEASON.

Jamie-Lee formed a close friendship with Brooke in the mansion, and she even wrote a letter for Brooke after she was eliminated from the show.

She reads the letter for Brooke, and she tears up.

"When you left, I was so sad," Brooke tells her. 

"I thought about you all the time. There was something there from the start between us."

THERE ARE SO MANY FRONTRUNNERS WE CAN'T KEEP UP.

HOLY SH*T IT'S JAMIE-LEE. Image: Channel 10.

Okay, enough emotions. It's time for the cocktail party.

Osher arrives, and everyone screams with excitement.

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He explains that by the end of the night, one contestant will receive the first impression rose, which means they'll get an invitation to the very first single date.

Brooke arrives at the cocktail party and it's time for the men and women to fight over who gets to talk to her first.

While Brooke takes Carissa for the ~first chat~, the contestants debate over the appropriate time to wait before interrupting them.

"Is 30 seconds enough?" one man asks.

"Should someone go interrupt this?" another man says.

But before the men can interrupt, Paige steals Brooke away from Carissa.

And from that moment onwards, the women continue to steal Brooke away, leaving the men stressing around the fire.

"So... do you like stuff?" Image: Channel 10.

Meanwhile, carpenter Konrad wants to take Brooke to the ~special chair~ they built together.

But while he's waiting to chat to her, Jess whisks Brooke away to the chair.

THE DRAMA. THE DISRESPECT. THE AUDACITY.

"That was definitely a dog act," Darvid says.

"I'm feeling a bit hurt," carpenter Konrad adds.

"It had more meaning than just being a seat. It was something that we were meant to sit on and create a moment that we're going to cherish. And she's just tainted that moment."

Goodness. Who knew that a chair could create so much... drama.

via GIPHY

While everyone is still discussing a goddamn chair, Brooke takes Jamie-Lee for a chat, and they share their first kiss, before Brooke presents Darvid with the all-important first impression rose.

It's time for the rose ceremony.

Holly gets a rose. Beau the #instagramboyfriend gets a rose. And carpenter Konrad gets a rose.

A man that I've literally never seen before is sent home.

UNTIL TOMORROW NIGHT.

For more on this topic:

• "I've found my person." Brooke Blurton on what to expect from this season of The Bachelorette.

Jessica Staveley is a Senior Entertainment Writer and Weekend Editor at Mamamia. For more pop culture content (and bonus dachshund content), you can follow her on Instagram. 

Feature Image: Channel 10.