A dark alleyway down a seedy side street. A flickering neon sign. Purple velvet, dusty glass cabinets and fishnets.

These are a few of the things you might’ve seen if you’ve ever gone to buy a sex toy.

Even in the age of online shopping, buying a sex toy can feel a bit seedy or X-rated, like you have to jump online in the middle of the night in a private internet browser. But it shouldn’t have to be this way.

In 2017, people around the world spent US $15 billion on adult pleasure products, so a lot of us quite enjoy sex toys, or want to buy one but aren’t sure where to start.

We asked Australia’s highest-paid escort Samantha X how to have better sex, and the answer is pretty, well, do-able. Check it out in the video below, post continues after video.

Choosing and buying a sex toy is a financial investment. Sex toys are too expensive to risk buying a dud, and unlike a skirt that doesn’t look at all like it did on the website, you can’t really return them.

There’s a huge need for sex toy reviews that are honest, unbiased, realistic and detailed, and provide all the information you want to know before dropping a couple hundred in the name of multiple orgasms (or even just one would be great).

I found all of this in an Instagram account called Wild Flower (@wildflowersex) and 117,000 people agree, it’s brilliant.

I came across Wild Flower on Instagram a couple of months ago after Aussie DJ/MTV host/podcaster/influencer Flex Mami (@flex.mami) shared it on her Instagram stories, and I’ve not once regretted clicking ‘follow’ ever since.

It’s run by New Yorker Amy Boyajian, a former dominatrix sex worker who started her own sex positive company when no one would give her a job because of what she calls “whorephobia”.

In her words as told to Huffington Post, Wild Flower is a sex toy online store and Instagram account that merges “a space for sexual learning with resources and products to support that within a nonbinary, queer-focused, inclusive environment.”

 

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The feed is exactly that: bright, inclusive, realistic and honest (not words you’d always associate with a sex toy Instagram account). You’ll see every single kind of person on there: pubic hair, no pubic hair, underarm hair, a disability, piercings, tattoos, cellulite, different skin tones, different shapes, different genders, different bodies.

Including one that probably looks a lot like yours.

Wild Flower also does a bang up job of representing all the many ways we experience pleasure, with who, and why. It rejects the idea of a good time only involving shaved labias and penetration that traditional porn mediums present us.

And it somehow does all of this without A) breaking Instagram’s no nipple policy (ugh) and B) having inappropriate/unwarranted comments from internet weirdos on their posts.

But for me, the best bit about this Instagram account is that it’s genuinely helpful. Both on the feed and in Instagram stories, Boyajian shares practical, functional and honest reviews of all types of sex toys. She explains exactly how they work and describes the design features and how they feel in detail… which is really handy to know before purchasing.

Boyajian also writes a lot about the things none of us are “meant” to talk about in the captions of her feed images. Like vaginal dryness and touching yourself and whether the sex you’re having is normal. And strap-ons.

Speaking of taboo topics, we got into the details of anal sex on Mamamia’s Sealed Section podcast. From preparation to poo, find out everything you need to know below. Post continues after audio.

There’s so much information on her Instagram account, I’ve spent hours scrolling through and reading about not just the mechanics of sex and using sex toys, but how they fit in our relationships, the stigma around our own pleasure, and how society and marketing can warp our sense of what is “right” and what we deserve when it comes to sex.

Whether or not you’re into sex toys is kind of irrelevant. This is an Instagram account about pleasure, and what that comes down to is feeling good about yourself. Considering people have been learning everything they know about sex from mainstream porn for decades, who the heck even knows what we might be into or not into?

If you want to learn more about sex toys and different types of sex, without the sleaze and stereotypes, follow Wild Flower on Instagram.

Want more honest content on sex? Read more here:

• “My partner and I swapped porn for erotic audio stories. Here’s how that went down.”
• ROAD TEST: We tried the Womanizer Liberty clitoral suction sex toy because we’re worth it.
• Would you try scheduling sex with your partner? I did and this is what happened.