The unspoken grief of your parents selling your family home.

Over, the weekend my family did the unimaginable... they moved out of their house.

Okay, I'm being dramatic. It's just a house.

But it's a house that my parents designed and built, a house that I lived in for 17 out of my 27 years, a house that hosted over 35 parties, a house that our two dogs were born into and went to sleep for the last time in, a house that was part of many firsts and a few lasts, a house that became home to four people.

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I technically moved out of this house five years ago... except I never really moved out of it. 

I've always lived a 45-minute drive away and it was my retreat for when I wanted a break from the city or I just needed a hug from my mum. 

Whenever I needed something I'd always call home to ask if it was still in my untouched childhood bedroom or in a box somewhere in the garage. Whenever I didn't want something I'd call home again and ask if I could store it there for a little while (read: five years).  

It wasn't just the house I grew up in; it was a place that I could always fall back on and stay in whenever I was tired/anxious/depressed about my present life.

I noticed I only became extremely attached to this house once I'd moved out of home. I would still refer to it as "my home", whereas the place I live is "my apartment." And now, the place my parents are downsizing to is called "their apartment". 

Since I don't live with my parents anymore, I'm not going to be moving with them to this new place where they will continue making memories. My storyline in that part of their life has ended.


It won't be my home, it'll be "my parents' home" and I'm not ready for them to have a home without me.

I've also never brought a partner home and said things like "and these are my basketball trophies" as I take them on a mini tour of my childhood bedroom. 

Or invited them to our big family Christmases that last a week and are filled with big parties and long afternoon naps. 

And I won't be able to show my own children (if I have any) where their mum grew up and watch them play in a big backyard that I know I could never afford to give them myself. 

It would be hypocritical of me not to mention that I was the number-one advocate and persuader for my parents to move out. I knew they needed a lifestyle change and I personally would hate it if they felt they had to stay in that big house for no other reason than the ones I listed above.  

I also know that they are extremely selfless people who definitely wouldn't have sold their house if I had written this article before it was a done deal. The reason they've lived there for so long was because of my sister and myself. 

They wanted to give us the best life possible, and they did, but now it's their turn.

They've made it clear their roles as our guardians, although not legally required, will always be their primary job and number one priority. 

I'm still sad about leaving the home that I grew up in, but I'm equally if not more excited to watch my parents enter a new chapter of their lives and prioritise their needs and lifestyle for the first time — a privilege not a lot of children get to witness. 

If you want more culture opinions by Emily Vernem, you can follow her on Instagram @emilyvernem. 

Feature Image: Supplied.