By NATALIA HAWK
I am a proud, card-carrying member of Team Love.
I love Love. I loved Love even before I was In Love. My favourite thing is hearing a swept-off-the-feet-in-a-crazy-random-romantic-encounter story. My second favourite thing is really lame sepia-filtered Instagram pictures with romantic captions. Exhibit A:
I love every super-lame romantic cliche known to man. I watched this video about 75 times. I loved The Notebook, I loved Moulin Rouge, I loved Love Actually. I read The Great Gatsby 11 times and saw it three times in the cinemas just because he bought a house across the bay just to be near her and HOW GORGEOUS IS THAT.
In conclusion: I am the sappy romantic to beat all sappy romantics. That’s why I was so sad when I read this article from Nerve.com about science and love.
You see, much like science has fixed polio and smallpox, it’s now trying to fix love. The shitty parts of love. The heartbreak you experience when that person you liked doesn’t like you back. The feeling of falling out of love with someone. The lack of passion when you’ve been with someone for a really long time.
Technically, everything that happens when you fall in love – the undying declarations of I CAN’T LIVE WITHOUT YOU, the sparks when you kiss – is caused by science-y things. Genetics and hormones both play a part. That’s why it’s not really all that hard for science to change everything with the help of some drugs and statistics.
Nerve has explained how scientists from the University of Oxford have developed sprays full of the hormone oxytocin to use on couples who are in the middle of an argument. Apparently it “mitigates feelings of anger and boosts those of intimacy”.
Can you IMAGINE having a fight with your significant other and them pulling out a spray bottle and spraying it on your face to calm you down? Like when you spray a dog with water to train them? I just can’t even…
But that’s not all. There are other things happening to fix love. Maybe you’re not feeling into your lover? You’re tired, or you’re stressed out, or you just don’t feel attracted to them anymore?
Not to worry. Nerve points out that there are “already plenty of medications being developed to help simulate feelings of lust, including the Lybrido, the controversial Viagra for women.” We’ve reported on this before here – apparently the nasal spray contains testosterone and will be effective for two to eight hours after it’s taken.