reality tv


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We open on base camp where the celebrities are preparing for another day of brutal reality TV filming torture.

"Listen here, we're leaving in five minutes," an angry British man announces.

"The love train is going, be on it. Anyone going for a dump, tell them to snap it off."

Did he... really just say that?

Goodness. It's time for the first challenge of the day.

For this challenge, the celebrities are dropped into freezing water to await their teammates who will attempt to haul them into a boat... without hitting them with said boat.


Most of the celebrities succeed, including Ali who hauls Candice onto the boat.

"GET IN THERE, GOLDILOCKS," the angry British man yells and rude.

Meanwhile, the rest of the group are looking a little like this:


Firass is the last celebrity to complete the challenge and once again, he's being a very naughty boy. 

Although he manages to pull Ali onto the boat, he completely misses Jackson and now he's in big trouble.

Back on the beach, the celebrities get changed while the angry British men discuss Firass' bad behaviour on school camp. You see, Firass made a sarcastic comment on the boat. And the teachers angry British men aren't happy about it.

They force Firass to face his classmates and ask him why he was havin' a giggle on the boat.

"WHAT DID YOU SAY IN THE BOAT?" Angry James Bond yells.

"It was good to get back in the water," he responds.

Angry James Bond lets Mitchell choose a suitable punishment. Either a) everyone can jump in the water in their dry clothes or b) Firass can jump in the water. 

He chooses the latter, obviously. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ 



Not again... 

When Firass emerges from the water, Angry James Bond encourages him to leave. But Firass refuses.

Back at the base, Merrick tears further into Firass.

"You nearly got all of us in the lake. That would have f**ked people up," Merrick tells him.

Firass, meanwhile, hugs a pole. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯


"You're my friend now. From now on, we're besties," he tells the pole.

"You're my friend now." 

Elsewhere, the angry British men b*tch about the other recruits.

While they describe Sabrina as a "good egg", they're not happy with Jackson's performance.

"He was given an opportunity to step up to the mark, and he just let it go," one of them says.

"If he doesn't hand his number in, it's because he's stubborn," another adds.

They decide to bring Jackson in for an interrogation.

"What's it like living in your dad's shadow?" Angry James Bond asks him and yikes, it suddenly feels like we're intruding on a private therapy session.

"It's been pretty frustrating. Whenever I walk into a room or meet someone, it's always, 'That's Shane Warne's son'. It's never, 'That's Jackson'. I just want to be Jackson," he said.

"Doing this I know I can prove to people that no matter how easy my childhood was, I can still do the tough stuff and push myself."

"I just want to be Jackson." 


Back at the base, an argument is brewing between the celebrities.


While Firass is curled up in his sleeping bag, Merrick goes in for the attack.

Sir. You look ridiculous. 


"You need to be part of the team, Firass," Merrick tells him.

"We're all done with that s**t. We're done with you gobbing off to the f**king DS," he adds.

"Don't say s**t to us. Get through the f**king course. We're f**ing sick of this s**t."

As Merrick continues, Firass seems to descend further and further inside his sleeping bag.

"Don't talk to me like that. It's a sophisticated, complex situation. It's not so simple," Firass responds.

"You haven't even apologised to us," another celebrity chimes in.

"Sorry about what?" Firass responds and FFS. He just doesn't get it, does he?

Everyone is... pissed. 



It's the next morning and the celebrities are called to the yard.

Ali is asked to pick a single date who she wouldn't want to have on her team and unsurprisingly, she picks Firass.

But while many of the celebrities agreed with Ali, some of them pick Jackson as the weakest link.

For their next challenge, the recruits are split into two teams – those who picked Firass and those who picked Jackson.

Their challenge? Carrying a log weighing over 100 kilograms for five kilometres.


Yep, no thanks.

As the challenge continues, Jackson struggles to lead his team

"YOU'RE 21. GET YOUR HEAD UP. LEAD YOUR TEAM," one angry British man yells at Jackson.


As for Firass' team, Mitchell is... struggling. He drops off the end of the log, and Angry James Bond confronts him.

"Get back on that log or I'm taking your number," he tells him.

Mitchell hands back his armband and leaves the challenge.

"I just couldn't do it," he says.


Catch up on the rest of our SAS Australia recaps here:

Mamamia recaps SAS Australia Episode 1: THESE BRITISH MEN ARE REALLY ANGRY.
Mamamia recaps SAS Australia Episode 2: Dammit. 50 per cent of the gossip just walked off the show.
Mamamia recaps SAS Australia Episode 3: The celebrities are starting to look utterly... broken.

Feature Image: Channel Seven.