I’ve done a number of stupid things in my life. Becoming a married man’s mistress is certainly at the top of the list.
The best way I can explain it is that I was in the wrong place at the wrong time with a completely ridiculous mindset. Which, of course, is the absolutely right mindset for making terrible choices. Like getting involved with a married man.
At the start of 2013, I was battling a significant bout of restlessness. I’d lost weight and ended an engagement to a guy I’d been seeing for more than five years.
The Mamamia team confess our relationship dealbreakers? Post continues below.
Everything was terrible, yet strangely promising too. I saw that I’d wasted (or lost) all of my twenties to depression, and I didn’t want to lose my thirties in the same way. I desperately wanted to move forward and “be happy.”
At that point, I knew I wanted to leave my office job. I dreamed about moving away and starting a brand new life. I dreamed about writing for a living. But I was completely clueless about exacting any real change.
In early February, I ran across a fledgling, but inspirational Facebook page. This was during the occupy movement, and the page aimed to bring Christians and atheists together in a productive way. I still saw myself as a Christian in those days, and I really liked the dynamic the group was trying to achieve. I also really liked the guy who ran the whole thing.
He was a very good writer, and I was impressed to see someone my age who still wanted to make a difference in the world. “That’s the sort of man I want to marry,” I thought to myself. And I thought that was that, but it wasn’t.
The guy who ran the Facebook page seemed to be taking an interest in me. He posted to my wall, saying he thought I might like a blog post he’d written. I did like it — I loved it . I was also too flattered to realise he was really just looking for constant attention.
A few days after he began posting to my wall, he privately messaged me. I was surprised by how direct he was about wanting to get to know me and begin a relationship. To me, he seemed very charming, and at that point I was unaware of many of my own shortcomings in relationships. I took everything he said to me as truth, and I very quickly began to see the attraction between us as “kismet” or everything I thought a good romance should be.