Prince George is six. And in his new official birthday portraits, he's staging a revolution.

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Look. He’s just a child.

Prince George is an adorable kid who was born into a weird family, just like the rest of us. And just like the rest of us, every year, on the first-born Windsor’s birthday, his mum takes some borderline-embarrassing photos of him and shares them on social media.

Us commoners do it, too. “Can’t believe it! Stop the clock! #mastersix” is on your Facebook feed at least once a day and you know it.

Royal kids are actually… normal kids. Post continues after video. 

Video by MMC

But while no-one gives a toss about our baby pictures, Prince George’s annual social media outing is VERY important.


We can decode the photos for everything they tell us about our favourite topic: Who’s warring with who on the latest episode of The Windsors right now?

And if you’re thinking, ‘What would little innocent George know about palace intrigue and warring houses, anyway?’ well, you just haven’t been trying hard enough to unearth royal gossip. Unlike, say, us.


Because, as the first-born Baby WillKate and an heir to the throne whose right to rule leapfrogs actual adults, George is all-seeing. Just check out Gary Janetti’s Instagram if you don’t believe me.

And today’s release of his sixth birthday portraits, taken, as ever, by his multi-talented mother Catherine, Duchess Of All Things, is practically screaming at us: ‘If you think that Meghan is relatable, you ain’t seen nothing yet.’

Listen to Mamamia’s brand new entertainment podcast, The Spill. Post continues below. 

Through the years, Prince George’s portraits – and those of his two siblings, Charlotte and Louis – have looked like ads for the kids’ clothes that time forgot.  Royal children are dressed in a sartorial niche that lands somewhere between Little Lord Fauntleroy and The Others. We’re talking smocking, and knickerbockers, and collared shirts buttoned to the very top button, and Mary-Janes.

Evidence, please:

Knee-highs, check. Prince George in his 2014 Christmas portrait. Image via Getty.

Peter Pan collar, check. Last year's birthday portrait.


Tasteful collar-less stripes, check. Fourth birthday....

Prince George Pippa Middleton's wedding
Knickerbockers, check. Prince George at Auntie Pippa's wedding. Image: Getty.
Itchy woollens, check. Grandma Queenie proves the point with all her great-grandchildren in 2015.

They're not allowed to wear things that "normal" kids wear - like Tupac T-shirts, skinny jeans, and hair product. That would be unseemly. Common, even.

You're never going to see Charlotte in a Bluey T-shirt, or one of those sequinned mermaid tails, and you're never going to see Louis in a snuggie.

Or, are you?

Because in today's birthday portraits, the rules were in flames. Prince George wasn't wearing a bow-tie and knee-high navy socks.

Whisper it, but the heir to the throne was wearing a football shirt.

One more time:


This could be the first time in history that a royal child has been witnessed wearing polyester.

The England football shirt is the kind of thing that young men with crew-cuts wear to the pub. The kind of thing that "ordinary" children wear day-in, day-out to daycare until the badge falls off and armpits rot out. The kind of thing your dad wears at every family barbecue while your mum makes comments about not standing too close to a naked flame.

No, Prince George's football shirt is a nod to 'the common people' so obvious, so blatant, we can only imagine what Meghan is cooking up at home for Archie's next public outing. A terry-towelling onesie? A limited-edition Bonds wondersuit?

So Happy Birthday, Prince George. We would like to congratulate your royal highness on throwing off the shackles of your overlords (your family) and going your own bloody way. Actually, we're congratulating Kate.

Because as any mum who's had to take one of those birthday portraits knows, trying to get your kids to wear something they don't want to for the 'Gram can ruin your day, your week, your year.

We bet you wear it round the supermarket, too, Sir.

Oh, no, wait...

Do you like the way royal children dress? Has it inspired you?

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