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Look. He’s just a child.

Prince George is an adorable kid who was born into a weird family, just like the rest of us. And just like the rest of us, every year, on the first-born Windsor’s birthday, his mum takes some borderline-embarrassing photos of him and shares them on social media.

Us commoners do it, too. “Can’t believe it! Stop the clock! #mastersix” is on your Facebook feed at least once a day and you know it.

Royal kids are actually… normal kids. Post continues after video. 

But while no-one gives a toss about our baby pictures, Prince George’s annual social media outing is VERY important.

Because:

We can decode the photos for everything they tell us about our favourite topic: Who’s warring with who on the latest episode of The Windsors right now?

And if you’re thinking, ‘What would little innocent George know about palace intrigue and warring houses, anyway?’ well, you just haven’t been trying hard enough to unearth royal gossip. Unlike, say, us.

Because, as the first-born Baby WillKate and an heir to the throne whose right to rule leapfrogs actual adults, George is all-seeing. Just check out Gary Janetti’s Instagram if you don’t believe me.

And today’s release of his sixth birthday portraits, taken, as ever, by his multi-talented mother Catherine, Duchess Of All Things, is practically screaming at us: ‘If you think that Meghan is relatable, you ain’t seen nothing yet.’

Listen to Mamamia’s brand new entertainment podcast, The Spill. Post continues below. 

Through the years, Prince George’s portraits – and those of his two siblings, Charlotte and Louis – have looked like ads for the kids’ clothes that time forgot.  Royal children are dressed in a sartorial niche that lands somewhere between Little Lord Fauntleroy and The Others. We’re talking smocking, and knickerbockers, and collared shirts buttoned to the very top button, and Mary-Janes.

Evidence, please:

 

View this post on Instagram

 

The Duke and Duchess of Cambridge are very pleased to share a new photograph of Prince George to mark his fifth birthday – thank you everyone for your lovely messages ???? ???? @mattporteous

A post shared by Kensington Palace (@kensingtonroyal) on Jul 21, 2018 at 2:30pm PDT

Peter Pan collar, check. Last year's birthday portrait.

 

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The Duke and Duchess are delighted to share a new official portrait of Prince George to mark His Royal Highness's fourth birthday tomorrow ????The photograph was taken at Kensington Palace at the end of June by Chris Jackson. The Duke and Duchess are very pleased to share this lovely picture as they celebrate Prince George's fourth birthday, and would like to thank everyone for all of the kind messages they have received.

A post shared by Kensington Palace (@kensingtonroyal) on Jul 21, 2017 at 2:03pm PDT

Tasteful collar-less stripes, check. Fourth birthday....

They're not allowed to wear things that "normal" kids wear - like Tupac T-shirts, skinny jeans, and hair product. That would be unseemly. Common, even.

You're never going to see Charlotte in a Bluey T-shirt, or one of those sequinned mermaid tails, and you're never going to see Louis in a snuggie.

Or, are you?

Because in today's birthday portraits, the rules were in flames. Prince George wasn't wearing a bow-tie and knee-high navy socks.

Whisper it, but the heir to the throne was wearing a football shirt.

One more time:

 

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???????????? Happy Birthday Prince George! The Duke and Duchess of Cambridge are very pleased to share new photographs of Prince George to mark His Royal Highness's sixth birthday. This photograph was taken recently in the garden of their home at Kensington Palace by The Duchess of Cambridge. Thank you everyone for all your lovely messages!

A post shared by Kensington Palace (@kensingtonroyal) on Jul 21, 2019 at 2:32pm PDT

This could be the first time in history that a royal child has been witnessed wearing polyester.

The England football shirt is the kind of thing that young men with crew-cuts wear to the pub. The kind of thing that "ordinary" children wear day-in, day-out to daycare until the badge falls off and armpits rot out. The kind of thing your dad wears at every family barbecue while your mum makes comments about not standing too close to a naked flame.

No, Prince George's football shirt is a nod to 'the common people' so obvious, so blatant, we can only imagine what Meghan is cooking up at home for Archie's next public outing. A terry-towelling onesie? A limited-edition Bonds wondersuit?

So Happy Birthday, Prince George. We would like to congratulate your royal highness on throwing off the shackles of your overlords (your family) and going your own bloody way. Actually, we're congratulating Kate.

Because as any mum who's had to take one of those birthday portraits knows, trying to get your kids to wear something they don't want to for the 'Gram can ruin your day, your week, your year.

We bet you wear it round the supermarket, too, Sir.

Oh, no, wait...

Do you like the way royal children dress? Has it inspired you?

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