There are 7 types of people in a group chat. If you’re number 3, you owe your friends an apology.

Whether you’re a 19-year-old girl on Snapchat, a 30-year-old woman on Messenger or a 53-year-old mum on WhatsApp, I’m going to assume that you’re in at least one group chat.

It could be a group with your girlfriends, your extended family or strangers who just share the same passion for cryptocurrency as you (that's still a thing, right?). 

There are enough of us in group chats now that it’s important to come to terms with our group chat personalities. Before you ask, yes, your group chat personality differs from your actual personality.

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In fact, your group chat personality has nothing to do with you as a person at all. It’s all about perception. You might mean one thing that could come across as something completely different in text form. 

Don’t worry, there are only seven types and I’m here to help you discover yours.

1. The Leader.

Starting strong, we have the one that lifts us all. The leader is the person who most likely started the group chat. They’re also the person who keeps the conversation going. Do you have group chats that lasted a few months and then completely dissipated? You didn’t have a strong enough leader. 


The leader is also the person who makes things happen. Basically, they're the Nicole of the group. They’re forever sending location pins, dates and times and are a gun at organising the rest of the group. If you have a leader in your group chat, give them a shout-out now and then. 

2. The Lurker. 

This person will never respond, even if you’ve asked them a direct question. They aren’t embarrassed about showing they've read your messages and are choosing to not reply (even though they should be). When they’re in a good mood, they’ll sometimes “react” or “like” messages to show that they’re paying attention but they will never send a message back (I don’t even think they have a keyboard on their phone). 

Most lurkers pay attention and can keep up with the conversation when you meet them in person. While others just open their messages, try to get a gist of what's going on and make up their own conclusions. 

3. The Masker. 

The absolute worst person in the group chat. This person thinks they’re the leader. (They’re not.) Don’t get me wrong, they are an absolute hoot in person, but group settings are not their strong suit. 

All they do is make jokes that don’t cut through on text and attempt to have conversations with one person as if they've forgotten that private chats exist. 

They also feel like they need to be in charge of the group name. If anyone thinks of changing it, this person will swoop in and change it to something that they prefer. I love chaos, but they take it too far. 

4. The Backer.

This is my absolute favourite person in the group chat, and who I strive to be. The backer will always respond to everyone's messages. Even if the conversation is over, they will endeavour to “like” the last message sent to show you that you are seen, heard and appreciated.


We’ve all had the experience of being in a group chat where we send a message along the lines of “Hey guys, is anyone free to hang out tonight?”, and there’s just been radio silence. 

If there’s a backer in your group, there will never be radio silence.

You can trust that if plans are underway, they’re happy to go with the flow. They’re the first to transfer money and the first to comment a fire emoji under your latest feed image.

5. The Reporter. 

Someone in the group needs to keep you informed - and this person takes the role very seriously.

A celebrity couple announces their divorce? You hear it from them before Instagram. 

A family friend is pregnant? Bam! 

This article pops up? You bet it's about to land in your group chat. (Go on, be the reporter. You know you want to.) 

Some may call them a gossip, but they're secretly the thread that holds the group together.

6. The Recap Requester.

The second worst person in the group chat. A recap requester will see there are 10 unread messages and not even bother trying to catch up. They then say something like, “Guys can someone please tell me what’s going on? There’s like 100 messages” (they're very dramatic). 

First, you’ve just ruined the flow, vibes and banter and second, the rest of the group are not your private secretaries. If you have a recap requester in your group, just encourage them to, you know, scroll up for two minutes. 


7. The Gentle Parent.

We know that some conversations are best had in person. Group chats are a risky business. There have been countless times where we’ve over-thought the meaning being words like “whatever” or “yep”. What do they mean by that? Are they mad at me? What did I do?

The gentle parent is usually  The Leader's right-hand woman. They’re there to keep things civil. Whenever things start to get heated they’re the brave souls to put everything out in the open and lay arguments to rest. They’re the reason friendships haven’t ended over a misunderstanding. I beg of you to please have a gentle parent in your group chats.

And there you have it. All the personalities in your group chat. A dream scenario group chat would be one leader and multiple backers - but that only exists in movies. Yes, some of these were exaggerated for dramatic effect but I know that a specific person came into mind as you read through them. 

As long as everyone in the group chat is respectful of each other, I believe that it’s one of the best ways to stay connected to loved ones. Just don’t be an eye-roll.  

Which type of person are you in the group chat? Tell us in the comments! 

If you want more culture opinions by Emily Vernem, you can follow her on Instagram @emilyvernem.

Feature image: canva 

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