Don’t get me wrong. I think I score okay on the big picture stuff. I’m patient. I read stories. I sing lullabies. I listen. I care. I label the behaviour and not the child. I cuddle. I try to lead by example. I pick my battles. They know they’re loved unconditionally.
It’s more the day-to-day admin side of parenting that really needs some attention at our place. Here’s an audit of recent events:
1. Banana left in school bag for the entire school holidays. FAIL.
2. Dreadlocks in the four-year-old’s hair. No, not as a fashion statement. FAIL.
3. Under 7’s soccer. Forgot to bring back the man-of-the-match trophy – the one you are only supposed to keep for a week. No trophy for this week’s man-of-the-match. FAIL.
4. Left kids with a babysitter and no instructions on what to cook for dinner. Kids had take away pizza. Again. FAIL.
5. Two tiny dots of green mould on the back of the four-year-old’s ballet leotard, discovered after the ballet class, possibly as a result of being left in a bag with rotten fruit. (See above). FAIL.
6. Fifteen minutes late for the school Easter Hat Parade. Pretty much missed the whole thing. ‘Didn’t you see me darling? I was standing just over there’ FAIL. Oh, and I forgot the camera! FAIL.
7. Fillings in the eight-year-old and six-year-old’s teeth. FAIL.
8. Several play dates and sleepovers yet to be reciprocated. ‘Maybe Max can come over next weekend sweetheart. Yes, I know it’s been four months’. FAIL.
9. Avoiding story time at Manly Library – for two years – because of an outstanding $78 fine. FAIL.
10. Only sent out thank-you cards to half the guests from the four-year-old’s birthday party. FAIL.
11. RSVP’d to a birthday party and then completely forgot it was on. No show. No present. FAIL.
12. Borrowed the children’s Christmas money from Grandma and only paid it back last week. FAIL.
13. Eight-year-old singled out by her teacher as suitable for a special ‘gifted and talented’ drama enrichment weekend workshop. Took too long to fill in the form. Workshop full. FAIL.