'Stop telling me I've never known love because I haven't had a long-term relationship.'

The last time I spoke to my sister, we were yelling over a FaceTime call. 

She'd been heartbroken – almost inconsolable – over some guy we both knew wasn't right for her. 

It was a pattern at this point. They'd argue and then she would call me to vent. 

The arguments were the same. He wasn't doing enough. She wasn't supportive enough. They loved each other but couldn't stand one another. 

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"Cut your losses and bounce," I told her (again). "This isn't good for you. No amount of love is worth this pain."

Then came the breaking point. 

"How would you know?" she responded. "You've never been in love."

What happened next can only be described as... chaos. 

There's something about being told "you don't understand" when you do, perfectly might I add, that grinds my gears. 

My longest relationship was six months. We'd decided pretty quickly we liked each other and became 'official'. I was 19. He was 23. 

We broke up six months later. My family wouldn't let us be alone together and he didn't understand why. He asked for an open relationship and I said no. 

I told my friends I didn't feel that "crazy" feeling when he spoke to other girls. I wouldn't ruin myself over him. I wouldn't fall victim to his mind games. I wouldn't do any of that. 

Therefore, I wasn't in love. 

Right?

I didn't cry until I found him on a dating app two days later. I didn't cry until I saw some of the dating app photos were ones I had taken of him. I didn't cry until I remembered that his mother hated me before she'd even known me. 

And then, when I did cry, I knew it was because I had a broken heart. I had been in love. 

I haven't been in a relationship again. I don't see the point of trying again until I'm sure. I don't see the need in dragging my friends along to analyse every text I type out, or to talk me through my insecurities because I'm not sure if he actually likes me. 

Basically, I don't see the point in being in love or trying to fall in love.

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But that doesn't mean I don't know love. It just means I'm not deluded enough to think it's alright to make everyone sit on the sidelines and watch while I f**k myself over.

When my sister told me I didn't understand the insanity you feel when you are in love with someone, I almost felt sympathy. But the rage was an easier pill to swallow.

Mostly because love can be found in anything – from our fiercely loyal pets to the babies we raise but don't parent, and the family members who raised us. Love comes in the most bizarre of forms. It is real in any form. Love for an intimate partner isn't any more sincere or significant than a grandparent's love for their favourite grandchild. Or a mother and daughter's connection. 

If you have ever been in a relationship – but the person you were dating didn't make you feel 'crazy' enough to stay, please don't let anyone convince you that it wasn't real or full of passion. 

The nature of love is complex and the deeper that love is, the deeper the feeling of hate is too. While I wouldn't dare to assume that my sister's own relationship could be a mixture of both, I can't help but feel that maybe – just maybe – it is. 

When my sister told me my choice not to be in love meant I was missing out, I felt furious.

Because love is everywhere – and I couldn't avoid it if I tried. 

Feature Image: Getty.

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