'He had a girlfriend wherever he was working.' What life is like when you don't marry for love.

My second marriage was an open one and we were swingers. My husband worked out of town often. He had the opportunity to be home for one week every six and often didn’t take that opportunity.

Instead, his company would fly me to wherever he was if we chose to do so. Or, he could use that ticket to fly somewhere else.

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There were times during our marriage that we both had other significant others. Since he worked out of state more often than not, he would have a girlfriend wherever he was working. Some of them rolled over from one job to another, so he would fly to visit them when his six week vacation time would come about.

Six months or more would go by that I wouldn’t see my husband.

I’ve had many people ask me why we were even married. I’ll be honest here. It was mostly for financial reasons for my part, and for access reasons on his.

I was in a bad place when we met, financially. He knew, I never hid it from him. I didn’t have much debt, but I was about to lose the place I was renting because I couldn’t afford to pay the rent any longer.

On his end, the swinging lifestyle had appealed to him for some time. But single men aren’t really welcome. There are too many of them trying to get in, and not enough women. The women he dated weren’t interested in going to swinger’s parties or participating in the lifestyle.

Our relationship started out as friends with benefits with a bit of sugar daddy thrown in. He agreed to pay my rent and I agreed to go to swinger parties with him.

We had fun. I had never been to a swinger’s club before, though I had been to a couple of house parties. This was a whole other creature.

The club is an old pseudo casino and looks like a huge house. When you pull up the driveway, someone stops your car and asks what your business is there. You just have to know the name of the club and you’re in.

The women are issued coloured stickers for their name tags, to denote whether they are bisexual, bi-curious, or straight. It saves you from flirting with someone who isn’t interested. There are also couples based stickers for those who are just there to watch, there to play, there to full swap, etc.


There are rules, of course. The building has two floors, and the upstairs is nude only. Gentlemen must be accompanied by a female when upstairs at all times. This cuts down on men just gawking at naked women, alone.

It was one of the coolest experiences I’ve ever had, to be honest. At one point, we ended up in the voyeur room, which has something like 10 sex swings, five or six orgy size beds, and stadium type bleachers on the outside of the room. I had my face buried in the pussy of a woman whose name I probably never knew and was being fucked by my then-boyfriend.

That night, I ate more pussy that I had combined before. I had my pussy licked and probed by at least eight different women. I had sex with four different men, again, whose names I never knew.

And it was glorious.

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It’s not something I want or need every weekend. Or even twice a year. It was honestly an experience I never knew I needed, but one I wouldn’t trade for anything.

Once we got married, we continued to be involved in the swinging lifestyle. We attended local house parties and went to that club a few times a year. We had been married about two years when he got the job working out of state and our swinging all but stopped. That’s when we opened up our marriage more and started seeing other people romantically separately.

I don’t regret our marriage, even though it began more of convenience than anything. I cared for him more than loved him, and if he’s honest, I believe he felt the same way. One of the men I ended up in a relationship with is the reason I eventually left my husband.

That relationship burned hot, quickly, and unfortunately, burned out as well. I can’t regret that either because it taught me that I am strong and capable of taking care of myself.

I haven’t been to the swinger’s club in over five years. My current husband and I are not in an open relationship, nor are we swingers. We have had a threesome with one woman, and are searching for someone to do that with again.

We’ve also had sex with each other with another couple in our bed, having sex as well, with the wives playing too. I believe that’s as far as he’s comfortable taking things.

But he also swore he would never let me rim him, and he definitely changed his mind about that once I went for it. So, we shall see.

That’s a story for another day.

This article was originally published on Medium and was republished here with full permission.

Dementer deLune is a writer of erotica and hot wife stories. To read more by her, sign up to her newsletter here.

Feature image: Getty.