A number of Australian swingers have shared what it’s like to watch their partners have sex with other people, and whether they ever get jealous.
Swingers, both single and coupled up, appeared on this week’s episode of ABC‘s You Can’t Ask That and answered a series of risque questions.
Questions included whether they still considered themselves in monogamous relationships, if they’ve ever looked at someone and thought ‘no way’, if their parents knew about their swinging and of course, what their best sexual experiences were.
Most couples agreed the best sex they’d ever had is with each other, but Sydney couple Lawrence and Jessica agree on “the gang bang” involving two women and eight men.
Megan, a single Brisbane woman known as a ‘unicorn’ in swinging circles, said she believes the best sex is always with someone you care about.
Sally and Andrew, a married couple from Melbourne, share that the best sex they have as a couple is the day after a swingers party.
“We have the most incredible, connected, lovey, disgusting relationship sex,” Sally says. “Best sex we ever have.”
One of the most curious questions, about watching your partner have sex with someone else, was eloquently worded as ‘What’s it like watching the love of your life get pounded and loving it?’
Following their laughs, the swingers all spoke of enjoying watching their partner feel pleasure.
Watched ‘You can’t ask that’ ABC last night. Discovered I’ve led a sheltered life. All previous guilt feelings exterminated.
— cliff ellen (@CliffieEllen) August 8, 2018
“I’ve got to say it is the hottest thing I’ve ever seen,” said Andrew of seeing Sally with someone else.
Sally quipped back with “I am f*cking amazed every time about the amount of c*ck that you can take my darling, you are thoroughly impressive.”
Wolf, from Casino NSW, spoke of realising a fantasy he didn’t know he had.
“I suppose that’s the first time when I looked at you, you know, with someone else and am I’m like ‘that’s sort of floating my boat, that is. That sort of turns me on’,” he said to his partner Kat.
Lawrence and Jessica speak about compersion, defined as deriving pleasure from another person’s pleasure, “so her having fun and enjoying sex with someone else makes me happy,” Lawrence said.
The swingers speak about how they are not immune to feelings of jealousy.
“If it gets very intimate and sensual, I myself have felt slightly jealous,” said Megan.
"Jealousy's just a natural emotion and I think people look at it like it's a negative thing but its not, I mean it shows that you really care about the person and the key to overcoming it is just good communication."
Lawrence and Jessica agreed that communication is extremely important to maintaining a healthy relationship.
"I'm not going to say I don't get jealous," Jessica said. "Especially in the early days where I probably did get jealous because I compared myself to that girl and I was like 'how did she do that?' 'how can I do that?'."
"And I think just being able to communicate that with Lawrence has taught me how I don't have to be jealous, I can just appreciate and love him and love her for what they're doing and do it better sometimes."
The final question got them thinking, asking what sex with a bunch of strangers has taught them about life.
Answers included learning how to relax during sex, being comfortable and enjoying it, as well as how to become more body positive and communicate more openly.
Jessica said she has become a lot more confident in herself since swinging, and has become more trusting of other people.
For Megan, swinging has taught her uh... well, this:
"It really improved my courage in doing a lot of other sorts of things."
"With public speaking or teaching for whatever, if I get nervous I just think 'I've actually sucked someone's c*ck that I don't really know, I should be able to talk'."