What is it about motherhood and our crazy ability to forget we’re only human? We suddenly set ourselves these impossibly high standards.
Every day I question my abilities as a mother. I’m not patient enough. I cave too soon when she stirs at night. I don’t read the recommended amount of books every day. I swear too much.
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The last six months have gone so fast I honestly don’t even know where the time went. I have been so wrapped up in my baby. Obsessed with my baby. That I haven’t had time to think about much else.
But we’ve evolved into a new phase of babyhood. One where my baby naps, a lot. She plays independently and prefers I leave her to it. So I suddenly find myself with way too much time on my hands and a growing disdain towards the housework I once found relaxing.
So what changed? What I’m about to admit to you is something a lot of us feel but are too ashamed to admit. Being a mother is not enough.
Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE being a mother. Motherhood has given my life the sense of purpose that I never had before and I couldn’t be happier with my little family. I’ve also never been so bored.
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My days consist of caring for my baby – when she lets me. Re-reading the same 30 picture books a million times. Laundry. Dishes. Cleaning up after my husband. Cleaning up after my dog. Meeting up with my mum friends and talking about our beautiful babies. Laundry.
Here’s the thing. I didn’t spend my 20s building a great and stable career I could fall back on. I’m a freelance writer with two work from home businesses, a scenario I specifically created to give myself the freedom of earning an income but still being at home with my baby.