BY MIA FREEDMAN
So I bought these undies. Look, it was bound to happen, me telling you about my underwear in this column. It’s actually surprising I waited this long but it’s been over a month now so I think we can officially dispense with the formalities. I promise to keep it SFW: Safe For Weekends.
A while back, I had a weekend sick in bed (not to be confused with a ‘sick weekend in bed’ which is how someone under 25 might describe the first 48hours of a new relationship). To pass the time, I did some online shopping at Victoria’s Secret where I bought half a dozen pairs of brightly coloured knickers.
By the time they arrived a few weeks later, I was no longer feverish and had totally forgotten buying them. After several confusing moments wondering who’d sent me undies at work, I remembered it was me and excitedly inspected my new purchase.
Fortunately, I don’t work in law, finance, education or politics so I’m able to wave my underpants about my office and at first glance it seemed I’d bought well. One pair had a cute pineapple print on them. Another pair was a cheery shade of fluro orange.
[Is anyone still reading? I promise this goes somewhere].
“Look” I said to my colleagues, “aren’t they cute?” But as I held them out in front of me for show and tell, I inhaled sharply.