celebrity

A Kim Kardashian conspiracy theory and a cursed baby: Mamamia recaps the Met Gala red carpet.

Yes, very wealthy celebrities wearing over-the-top fashion is EXACTLY what we need right now, thank you very much.

I genuinely cannot think of an event more fitting for this moment in time than the red carpet that gave us Katy Perry as a chandelier, Lady Gaga's live strip show and Jared Leto carrying his own head.

It just feels... right.

This year's theme is 'In America: A Lexicon of Fashion'. Nope, I don't know what that means. Probably a lot of... cowboys.

Before the red carpet live stream had even begun, we were treated to some wonderfully out-of-context photos of gymnast Nia Dennis performing a routine, which is cool. But the real unsung heroes are the people in American flag-coloured onesies playing trumpets in the background.

Cool flip I guess. Image: Getty.

Very impressive. Image: Getty.

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But look at the dedication FROM THE BAND. Image: Getty.

I love them with my whole heart.

The live stream began 15 minutes late, which feels like a real #fashion move.

First, we had to sit through Anna Wintour talking about the symbolism and meaning of the event and the Metropolitan Museum of Art's collections.

COOL COOL COOL but can we get to the abominations worn by famous, rich people please? 

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Red carpet hosts Keke Palmer and Ilana Glazer had to spend a very long time padding for time because no one had arrived yet. They answered fan questions, played unnecessary videos of Anna Wintour being intimidating, and fangirled over the creator of Instagram.

It's whatever the opposite of 'it's a lot' is.

My favourite part was when they said "I don't know who this woman is" as someone walked the Met steps on their own.

BECAUSE SAME.

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FINALLY, THE CELEBRITIES BEGAN TO ARRIVE AND THIS WEIRD SHOW GOT UNDERWAY.

Here are the wildest, most ridiculous moments from fashion's biggest, most bizarre night.

Dan Levy as a GAY MOTHER EARTH.

DAVID???????? Image: Getty.

This is TRULY SOMETHING.

Phillip Picardi, the former Chief Content Editor for Teen Vogue, explained to E! that the ensemble paid tribute to the late David Wojnarowicz, an American artist who died from AIDS in 1992.

"He wanted to make a really declarative and proud statement about queer love," Picardi explained. "Which I'm absolutely in love with."

Living for the message and also the very puffy sleeves.

LIL NAS X'S HUGE REVEAL.

Remember when Gaga stripped on the Met steps to reveal a series of different outfits? I-CON-IC.

Well, Lil Nas X - fresh off a prison shower orgy on the VMA stage - brought us not one, not two, but three looks on the steps, going from royalty to armour to... sexy, sparkly onesie.

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No one is doing it like him and honestly I love him so much.

HOW DO THESE PEOPLE SEE.

The 2021 accessory to have appears to be... gimp masks, and frankly, I'm furious about it.

Firstly, this man - Evan Mock, from the Gossip Girl reboot - has a LOVELY FACE SO WHY MUST HE HIDE IT? 

IT. IS. NOT. NECESSARY. Image: Getty.

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And secondly, CAN WE JUST... NOT? 

CAN WE PLEASE PUT THE GIMP MASKS AWAY?

Then came Erykah Badu and her dog bag.

????????????? Image: Getty.

And finally, Kimmy K, not that you'd know it was Kimmy K by looking at her.

N O. Image: Getty.

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In fact... hear me out. 

LET ME PRESENT TO YOU A VERY COMPELLING KIM K CONSPIRACY THEORY.

What if this is NOT Kim? What if Kim's such a busy woman that she decided to send a body double, dressed as a dementor so no one can tell? 

Do I have any proof? And evidence?

No, not really. But I still believe it, because you cannot tell me that's not a better story than Kim turning up to the Met Gala wearing... that.

Check on your horse friends. They're not okay.

How do you know someone likes horses? They turn up to the Met Gala dressed as one.

No, but really. Horse people are something else.

NEIGH. Image: Getty.

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Did anyone consult the horses about this? 

Did they get a say?

OH I GUESS NOT THEN. Image: Getty.

I guess when you're a horse person, sometimes you just need to attend fashion's biggest night as a horse.

A cursed green baby.

Frank Ocean arrived with green hair, which is nice, but also... A GREEN ROBOT BABY.

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And if I need to have these nightmares, so do you:

*grudge noise* Image: Getty.

SORRY.

Political... statements.

Obviously, some people used their ~outfits~ to share important messages.

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Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez had a very on-brand message on the back of her dress:

TAX 👏 THE 👏 RICH 👏  Image: Getty.

That's very important and kind of funny considering the amount of money in the Met room during this event. 

But the most important statement of the night????

It's obviously this one, courtesy of Miss Cara Delavigne:

Image: Getty.

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Look. Just... Google it. But not on a work device.

Rihanna and ASAP Rocky arrived, very, very late.

The event had already started when the undisputed Met Gala queen Rihanna finally left her hotel, alongside boyfriend ASAP Rocky.

But you betcha they still walked the red carpet in their matching outfits: ASAP wore a quilt, and RiRi's was a doona cover.

Gives me 'we just woke up and remembered we had the Met Gala so threw this on. Wbu?' vibes. Image: Getty.

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IMAGINE BEING SO IMPORTANT THAT YOU CAN GET AWAY WITH ARRIVING THAT LATE DRESSED IN YOUR HOTEL ROOM BED LINEN.

Just... all of this.

While some celebs came looking chic as hell (you can see our full fashion round-up here), others... were rogue as hell. And I simply must show you them:

Whoopi is giving me Grimace from Maccas. Image: Getty.

Kid Cudi is tired from spending all night colouring his hair with Stabilo highlighters. Image: Getty.

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Kristen Stewart or my high school English teacher? Image: Getty.

Why is it... so... round. Image: Getty.

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This is what Lisa Simpson's hair would look like IRL. Image: Getty.

THIS IS MY WORST NIGHTMARE. Image: Getty.

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And just like that, the chaos that is the Met Gala was over.

The celebs were shepherded inside the museum for the event, which remains a mystery to all of us plebs.

No one tripped up the stairs or walked in carrying their own head but at least we got a new rallying cry: Peg the patriarchy!

Feature image: Getty.

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