'I've entered my fifth Melbourne lockdown. Here are 6 things I WON'T be doing.'

If I am being honest, I think this latest lockdown could actually be on me. 

After months of not trusting we were in the clear and never daring to make plans ahead of time, I audaciously looked a week in advance and in this ever changing COVID world - and that was asking for trouble. 

Learned skepticism was elevated to cautious optimism, leading me to recklessly book tickets to a double feature day at the movies (Space Jam into Black Widow and I won’t hear anything about how that isn’t the greatest afternoon EVER), make a dinner reservation and finally signed up for next week’s half marathon that I have been training for, for months. 

I invested time and money in the future, and now I'm back at this all too familiar juncture of lockdowns and plan cancellations. I send my deepest apologies for tempting the beast out of hibernation, to wreck havoc on my upcoming aspirations and our poor bruised and battered Victoria. 

So while I disappointingly won’t be engaging in these aforementioned ambitious plans, there are some other activities I also won’t be engaging with in this latest lockdown that have a far more positive result. 

With more experience in the field of isolation survival than one would desire, disengaging from certain undertakings may not take away the hurt of lockdown 9,655, but it at least doesn’t rub salt in the freshly opened wounds. 

So here are the things I will not being doing in the next [insert whatever timeframe the lockdown is at time of reading]:

1. I will not think about tomorrow.

The uncertainly and unpredictability wrecks havoc with my mind, and so instead I will focus my energy on today, and today only. All of the unknowns about the future are based in hypotheticals and until it is a certainty, no good comes from worrying about it. 

Worry is a misuse of our imagination and I’d rather use my imagination for a far more fun purpose (the dreamy idea of travelling to Budapest when all this is over). All we can control is right now and so the "One Day At A Time" philosophy is your best friend. 

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2. I will not get angry.

I think it is human nature to look for someone to blame and an outlet to project one's stress on in challenging and frustrating times. And while there are certainly elements of all this that have transpired in a less than ideal fashion to say the least, the past is what it is and getting angry about it doesn’t change the result. 

We don’t have control over anything but our own perspective, so putting yourself through more strain trying to condemn someone changes nothing other than your own exasperation levels. I choose to resist anger - not to absolve those who haven’t acted for the greater good - but rather to gift myself the freedom of that weight. 

3. I will not be glued to the internet and the news.

While Twitter can provide some good giggles and a sense of camaraderie as we all suffer through this together whilst actually being alone, it can also be a harbour for anger and hub for hypothesising the worst. 

The little blue bird, along with many news programs, have a pretense to present information from a fear based, dramatised viewpoint that makes an already challenging and overwhelming time worse. 

Find the information sources that give updates without upset, and then get back to your regular internet activities of searching for the best donuts in Melbourne and watching Tom Cardy’s Instagram reels. 

4. I will not resent Zoom.

Okay this one feels hard. I hateeeeeeee socialising on video calls as much as anyone, where I can’t read body language properly and never feel as satisfied and nourished as an in-person rendezvous… BUT something is better than nothing and socially isolating oneself on top of the physical isolation is a bad combo. 

We are pack animals. We are supposed to be around others and thrive upon the happy hormones released by communication and connection. 

It felt good to delete my Zoom account in those naively calm months of early 2021, but I will swallow my pride and reinstall the app and struggle to not look at my own face in sheer horror the entire conversation.

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5. I will not stay for question time at the press conferences.

I think it is so important to stay informed and in the know about what the COVID situation is and any exposure sites etc, but I can tell you after obsessively watching every press conference for 123 days last year, nothing good comes when the statements end and the badgering starts. 

All the information we are going to get for the day has been dispelled, and from that point on, it tends to be little more than anxiety inducing, spin filled questions that only cause more fear and frustration that we need. I will respectfully tap out as they pass the mic to the floor, and tap back in to the ever heart warming Ted Lasso.

6. I will not try and get fit.

The desire to “use this time for good” and self improve, while gallant, is the last thing on my priority list. While staying physically active is helpful and important, I am privy to the fact that a great deal of energy is going towards just putting one foot in front of the other and getting to the end of the day as the prolonged exhaustion of lockdown 7,852 hits like a tonne of bricks.

No new skills need to be acquired, or great feats achieved. You don’t need to do anything monumental, other than the incredibly monumental task of living through this nightmare again.

And finally, the one thing I WILL do is use these continual periods of lockdown and isolation as a justification for any social faux pas and weird interactions I may be involved in forevermore. I will masterfully declare that any awkward interpersonal transgression are indeed due to the fact I have spent so much time alone in my house over the past 18 months, and absolutely not a long running occurrence due to flaws in my own personality. 

If we have to suffer through the downsides of lockdowns, we might as well get something positive out of it and this is a lucrative Get Out of Jail Free card to have up your sleeve. Trust me. 

Feature Image: Supplied/Mamamia.