This was not my plan…
Nine years ago, every certainty I thought I knew about life collapsed. That sounds so dramatic now, but that was absolutely my truth then. I had to, quite suddenly, create a career that would provide financially for my three little people and myself and work out what my new version of success would be. I had no idea what happiness was going to look like going forward.
My beautiful life, the previous chapter in my story, had abruptly come to a very definite end. The old story of me was a simple one and I had loved it. All I had ever wanted was a great marriage to my best friend, to be a mostly-at-home mum and to coach some clients on the side because I had always loved to work.
Yet here I was, feeling ill-equipped to be a single full-time working mum and I was overwhelmed by how much there was to do and learn. I was that woman! The one who seemed to have it all. My family and friends were just as shocked as I was when my husband at the time left me and made it clear he was never coming back.
In that moment, I had to find a way to be both the mum and the dad. I went from feeling grateful for my life and planning a trip to Africa, to sitting on the shower floor hoping the sound of the water would stop the children from hearing me cry. There are days I don’t remember and moments of grief that are etched on my heart forever.
I was engaged to him at 19 and married at 21. I had no idea who I was without him. ‘Divorced’ and ‘single mum’ were not labels I had ever considered I would have to own. I didn’t know back then that there were new labels coming and an adventure bigger than any dreams I’d ever had.