'Kourtney Kardashian thinks Kim tried to ruin her wedding. I’ve been accused of this too.'

On the premiere of The Kardashians, two of the sisters got into a fight on the phone, and unlike most of the series which often offers a heavily diluted version of their lives... this fight was very real. 

It was the kind of war of words where insults were thrown, personal jabs were made, and revelations were shared that can never be unsaid. 

Kourtney Kardashian labelled Kim everything from "egotistical" to a "witch" and "narcissist". She ended the phone call by telling her younger sister that she 'hated' her, and she will only be happy when she "gets the f**k away" from Kim and her family. 

The conversation lasted six minutes, which was a large span of time to watch two very famous women verbally tearing each other to shreds. It was dramatic sure, but also uncomfortable to endure in its viciousness. 

Watch: Kim and Kourtney Kardashian angry phone call on The Kardashians. Post continues below video.

Video via Disney+.

But there was one moment when the sisters discussed Kourtney's Italian wedding to Travis Barker which made me feel extremely seen. And suddenly, I was on Kim's side.

I am triggered. I am activated.


“You came to my wedding, you couldn’t be happy. You complained from the second you got there ’til the second you left. That’s what it’s about,” Kourtney told Kim. 

“You couldn’t be happy for me. You couldn’t be happy that I was the centre of attention and you weren’t.”

This last sentence and sentiment sounded a little too familiar. I've heard it before.

I heard it when it was being said to me by my friend who just got married. I was her bridesmaid. 

This was a friend I had since high school. We grew up together in Perth. 

I was one of five bridesmaids. And like most weddings, it was a huge event that required months of planning, fittings, and well, money. 

Not just money spent by the bride and groom, but money expected to be spent by the entire bridal party. But I'll get back to that. 

The big day arrived. And there were definitely bumps in the road, but overall it was everything you'd expect from a wedding day: we laughed, we cried happy tears, we danced, and the happy couple left in a horse and carriage. 

The following day, the bridesmaids had hoped for a 'thank you' message from the bride. Nothing came.

A week later, the bridesmaids wondered if now that the dust had settled, a 'thank you' message would come. Nothing came. 

What instead came was a phone call from the bride saying I had ruined her day. And like Kourtney said to Kim, she claimed I couldn't "let the attention be on her" even for just one day. 


I know what you're thinking: I must have been a monster. 

It's been three years since this wedding happened, and I'd be happy to cop to that now. I'm a little older, a little wiser, and in case you were wondering, I'm no longer friends with this person. 

Accepting the blame now would not change my life for the worse in any way. 

The only thing is: I don't have a clue what wedding she was at. 

Perception is important, and in the case of Kim and Kourtney, they obviously perceived the wedding very differently. In Kourtney's case, she has the added layer of thinking Kim was there setting up her collaboration with Dolce & Gabbana, which led to a fight that dominated last season. 

In my ex-friend's case, she had already decided that anything that went wrong with the wedding was my fault. 

Let's lay out the facts. 

The makeup appointment was a disaster. The bridesmaids were seen first, in and out for a quick appointment, before the bride had her hour-plus slot, as she should. 

This ex-friend's major gripe with me was that I fixed my makeup after the appointment. This is a big no-no. I could see why this could be disrespectful if I complained loudly to the makeup artist, if I whinged about it all day, and if I drastically changed the makeup.

That person sucks. 

But this did not happen. I made tiny changes only to make the existing eye makeup even (the artist had missed huge sections of my left eye), and I did so from the privacy of a bedroom no one came into. I also did this while the bride was in her hour-plus slot, which meant she did not need me there.  


I did not complain, even though the original makeup looked horrible. It wasn't my day, it's all about the bride. 

This is an interesting thought in hindsight. Why did it not matter how I looked? Why is being a bride akin to being the centre of the universe, one who we all orbit around, ignoring our own needs and wants in service of her? 

I can't imagine being a bride and not caring how my bridesmaids felt. I know it's one of the most stressful days for some people, but you're still a person, you're still a friend. 

Anyways, other than this makeup incident — which consumed about five per cent of the day — there was no other example the bride could give for how I ruined the day or made it all about me. 

This comes back to perception. The wedding day had issues, but they had nothing to do with me. 

I was just chosen to be in the firing line.

Another bridesmaid complained loudly to anyone and everyone about how much she hated the way the stylist did her hair. Another bridesmaid altered the length of her bridesmaid's dress so it looked different to the other four bridesmaids. 

Then there were the wedding speeches, where her father gave a drunken speech which was awkward for everyone. 


Some people behaved badly. I just don't think I was one of them. 

This brings us back to what started it all: the expectation that the bride will thank the people in her bridal party.

What should she have thanked me for? 

I planned and paid for the engagement dinner. I planned the Bachelorette party. I paid for the bridesmaid's dress. I bought mine and the other bridesmaids' shoes. And I planned the entire day before the wedding, including a spa visit. 

I spent at least $1000, along with many hours of lunches, dinners, and events. 

At the time, I was a student nurse. She had a full-time job as an accountant. 

She didn't thank anyone in the bridal party — what we did for her was not a gift, it was an expectation. 

The friendship ended. And like Kourtney and Kim, I don't think the fight was ever about the wedding. It was about our relationship being toxic. It needed to end; the wedding was simply a way out for us both.

Kourtney grabbed onto the wedding narrative as a means to paint Kim as the villain. 

Kim might have been. It wouldn't be shocking for Kim to spend a day complaining. Maybe she was awful. Maybe she couldn't stand the attention being off her. 

Or maybe, the wedding just wasn't that big of a deal for her because, well, it wasn't her own. And why is that so bad? 

Feature image: Getty. 

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