celebrity

Look, we really need to talk about Kris Jenner and Kim Kardashian's short-lived music careers.

Earlier this month, Kylie Jenner went viral when she sung the words ‘rise and shine’.

It was a weird time, but then again all of 2019 is a weird time. The short clip was taken from her YouTube office tour and uploaded to TikTok, where it amassed one billion views in five days. The world’s youngest self-made billionaire (lol) then created sold-out merchandise and made a trademark application, because no matter what you think of them, a Kardashian-Jenner knows a money opportunity when they see one.

In short, I didn’t understand any of it at the time and it made me feel 1000 years old. But you know what I DO understand?

A wee snippet that shows where the Kardashian-Jenner musical talent came from: Kris. Post continues below video.

Video by Kris Jenner

I understand that Kylie Jenner’s mother Kris and sister Kim created music that walked so her’s could run.

Long before Kylie sang ‘rise and shine’ to her daughter who was clearly already awake, it was 1985 and Kris Jenner – then Kristen Kardashian – celebrated her 30th birthday by singing to the tune of Randy Newman’s I Love L.A, re-imagined as I Love My Friends.

It was both wholesome and privileged. There’s a montage of aspirational Los Angeles imagery, Kris walking barefoot and singing on a treadmill, Kris driving a Mercedes and Kris drinking champagne in a bubble bath.

It is everything.

“November 5, and now I’m 30. Riding down the highway with my friends at my side,” she sings passionately… not that well, but with a level of confidence we should all aspire to have.

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“My life without them wouldn’t be complete,” she continues, with the scene switching to her driving through Hollywood with her hair blowing in the wind.

“They are my joy and pride.”

This was pre-fame, but Kris was clearly already enjoying the life of a wealthy Los Angeles housewife. At this point she had three children, Kourtney, Kim and Khloe, and name dropped Valentino among ‘average people’ things like going to church on Sundays and carpooling.

What mother-of-three goes to the hassle of writing lyrics, recording a song and creating a music video for their 30th birthday party? Kris Jenner, that’s who. I wouldn’t be surprised if she was playing a really long game and knew that 26 years later, in 2011, it would resurface on the internet and become a phenomenon.

Speaking of 2011… that was the year Kim Kardashian followed in her mother’s music footsteps (and married Kris Humphries, but we must not talk about that).

Enter: Jam (Turn It Up).

And they playn’ my jam
They playn’ my jam
They playn’ my jam
They playn’ my jam
They playn’ my jam
They playn’ my jam
They playn’ my jam
They playn’ my jam
They playn’ my jam
Turn it up turn it up
Turn it up turn it up
Turn it up turn it up
Turn it up turn it up
DJ,
Turn it up turn it up
Turn it up turn it up

As well as being a lyrical masterpiece, Kim K’s first single sold over 14,000 copies in the United States in its first five days. She later said it was her greatest regret, but whatever.

Celebrate like it’s my birthday
Five more shots of tequila
I’m thirsty!

You know those Netflix Christmas movies you know are terrible, but also really endearing and enjoyable to watch? Jam is not really like that, it’s mainly just terrible, but it also raised a bunch of cash for St. Jude Children’s Research Hospital in Tennessee which is nice.

“If there’s one thing in life that I wish I didn’t do… I don’t like it when people kind of dabble into things they shouldn’t be. And that I don’t think I should have. Like, what gave me the right to think I could be a singer? Like, I don’t have a good voice,” Kim said in 2014.

But when Kardashian matriarch Kris turned 60 in 2015, Kim headed back to a recording studio with her sisters to recreate the iconic I Love My Friends, and we’re forever grateful.

If Kylie launches a musical career of the back of Rise and Shine, we hope she gives thanks to her mum and Kim for clearly, passionately, paving the way.

And because Kris Jenner never misses a beat (except when… singing), don’t be surprised when Keeping Up With The Kardashians: The Musical is announced in 2020.

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