celebrity

"WHY IS EVERYTHING... BEIGE?" An honest recap of Kim Kardashian's renovated pantry.

BREAKING NEWS, EVERYONE: KIM KARDASHIAN HAS BUILT AN ADDITIONAL SHELF INTO HER PANTRY. (And by that I mean that someone else built it for her of course.)

We have been treated to this most spectacular bit of news by the website Poosh, which is the creation of the eldest Kardashian sibling, Kourtney.

Kourtney is one smart woman. After displaying youngest sibling Khloe's pantry last month on Poosh and realising just how (irrationally) obsessed people are with pantries, she has now given us Kim's additional shelf in all its minimalist glory.

We shall christian this new shelf "Bob". 

Before Bob. (Image: Poosh, @katielevinephoto)

After Bob. (Image: Poosh, @ivansocal)

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I know EXACTLY what you're thinking - why are the new dishes beige/white?

What happened to those black dishes?

Think about it. Isn't it obvious?

She just really, really likes beige and white.

What did you think I meant?

Here are pictures of Kim's beige/white house, to show her love of beige/white.

Colour died here. (Image: Vogue)

RIP, Colour. (Image: Vogue)

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Even minimalists are horrified. (Image: Vogue)

Anyway, back to Bob.

Here is a closer look at Bob.

Ooooh. (Image: Poosh, @ivansocal)

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Aaaaah. (Image: Poosh, @ivansocal)  

Okay look, I know Kim is a minimalist (except for her wardrobe, obviously), but this pantry is hurting my eyes. It's just so BORING. I just want to slip in a bright yellow plate to break up all this blandness. 

Also, why are there only three bowls in the pic above? She has five people living there - herself and the four kids, right? Where do they all drink soup from? Do rich people not drink soup?

Also, why does Kim have so many Asian teacups? Guys, even I don't have that many Asian teacups and I AM ASIAN. And she only has two small little Asian teapots. Where are the non-Asian teacups? How do they drink non-Asian tea?

Do rich people not drink non-Asian tea?

Kourtney's pantry is so much better than this. Just sayin'. (Image: Poosh, @ivansocal) 

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Are these vases? They're so small! I imagine there are a billion rooms in Kim's house - surely she will need more than four vases.

But then again, she didn't even have a vase in the piano room. And do beige flowers even exist?

What is happening here? (Image: Poosh, @ivansocal) 

I don't know what this is. Is it something she puts out when there are visitors? Like, when Pete Davidson comes over? Are those lollipops?

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I see sugar sachets. And coffee sachets. But, where's the tea bags?

Even the straws are beige, guys. 

It just feels so cafe-like. Shouldn't she have those cute containers full of sugar and coffee and tea, and properly labelled in beige jars? What a missed opportunity. She should hire me to redecorate.

Oh! I found the non-Asian teacups. (Image: Poosh, @ivansocal)   

Rich people DO drink non-Asian tea!

Her fridge is so shiny! No handprints at all! (Image: Poosh, @ivansocal) 

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Does anyone even use this pantry? Why is it so clean? 

If I had this pantry, I'd be hungry all the time.

This is definitely the pantry of my nightmares.

Are those Kettle chips and pork rinds? Maybe there's something I can eat after all. (Image: Poosh, @ivansocal) 

Everything is so evenly spaced out from each other. 

And so well-stocked!

I figure Kim has a "pantry person" whose job it is to measure out the distance between jars and to ensure that as soon as little North takes a packet of pork rinds another packet is there to fill its place.

Her pantry person probably makes more than I do. I want to be Kim's pantry person. (Haha, I kid, Mamamia editors! Of course I would never leave you. I love my job.)

(Kim, if you're reading this, call me.)

Welcome to the family, Bob. We're sure you'll be very happy as the additional shelf of Kim Kardashian's pantry. May you hold many beige and white things for years to come.

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