UPDATE: The day hath cometh. Khloe Kardashian has reportedly given birth to a baby girl!
Although the 33-year-old hasn’t announced the news herself, her mum/mumoger Kris Jenner took it upon herself to share the news on Instagram on Friday.
“Congratulations to Khloe Kardashian on welcoming another girl to the KarJenner clan,” the caption reads, alongside a video of Kendall saying “baby, baby, baby”.
Thanks the ginormous matter of CCTV footage of her daughter’s father Tristan Thompson allegedly kissing a woman who isn’t Khloe on Wednesday, we now have even less of a clue as to what Khloe will name their baby girl.
Will she take Tristan’s last name, or continue the Kardashian legacy?
Aside from waiting for Khloe to credibly announce her baby’s name, all that’s left for us to do is to wildly speculate the name of her offspring.
Kim gave us Chicago, because of Kanye’s close ties with his hometown city. And Kylie just gave us Stormi, because she was conceived in the midst of a terrible storm that threatened to destroy the Kardashian manor.
Yes, Storm-i. And no, we have no evidence to back the above theory up.
Speaking of theories we have no evidence to back up, here are a bunch of 100 per cent made up but partially realistic baby name possibilities Khloe may or may not choose.
OK we'll start with the most likely of the baby name theories, mainly because Khloe kind of, well, she told us this one. Before she found out about Tristan cheating on her days before giving birth, obviously.
Speaking on the Ellen Degeneres Show in January this year, she said: "If it's a boy, I'll go with Junior...Tristan Jr."
There you go.
She also said: "For a girl, I don't even know where to begin. I think I want a K or a T."
Which is brings us to...
This one starts with a T. Case closed.
Oh also, it's Tristan's birth place. This is relevant because, as previously mentioned, Kim and Kanye named their latest baby, Chicago after Kanye's birthplace. Presumably to remind him where he started when things get a little too hectic.
Again, maybe she won't name her first born this anymore...
Instead, we propose Kalabasas. Because it's the heart of the Kardashian empire.
Please note - it's spelt 'Calabasa', but if Khloe's daughter is to carry on the Kardashian name, she'll want her to have the KK initials.
Spelling isn't really that important anyway.
Khloe might but probably won't want to take the opportunity to give her daughter a name that can serve as a reminder Tristan will get what's coming to him one day.
Alternatively, Felicia would be a lovely take on the popular term 'Bye Felicia', meaning 'get the f*ck out of my life peasant'.
This would be entirely appropriate.
Remember that Calvin Klein shoot the Kardashians/Jenners did a month or two ago?
While we were all preoccupied with why Kylie's stomach was covered up (COZ SHE WAS PREGNANT, OBVS), Khloe was havin' a good ole chuckle because no one noticed she was actually, maybe hinting she'd call her baby Calvin.
But there's more.
Khloe also wore, you guessed it, CALVINS when she finally announced her pregnancy on Instagram.
What better way to honour and remember that glorious moment than to name your baby after your undies?
And the plot thickens, because Khloe most likely had an even bigger chuckle on in Feburary when everyone thought the giant 'C' made out of roses she sent to Kylie meant Kylie's baby name started with a 'C'.
— Lara (@xlaraloux) February 6, 2018
No, no. She sent those to her sister to remind her Stormi will be old news the moment Calvin comes along.
Man, those undies must hold a special place in her heart. Bless.
Again, this one's boring and legit.
Basically, Tristan's mum's name is Andrea. So he and Khloe might name their baby after her.
Oh wait. Again, maybe she won't want to bring Tristan's mum into this sh*t anymore.
So how about...
Yes, Kris would be a great name for Khloe's baby, as well as a great commercial opportunity to continue the KK branding.
If Khloe's feeling particularly sneaky, she might just name her prodigy something she's literally been saying for years right under our noses.
For this reason, her baby could be called, 'OKrrrr'.
See below for pronunciation.
Guys, this one is simple geography. And meteorology. And blatant imagination.
So, if you forget that Mason, Penelope, Reign and Dream exist (sorry guys), you'll find a startling connection between the other Kardashian kids' names.
In the North, West of Chicago, it's very Stormi. Particularly in the suburb of Rosemont. Hence, we can deduce, without confidence, that if Khloe's baby will be called Rosemont.
Rosemont is especially likely because the Kardashians love sending each other absurd rose bouquets and shapes/letters made of roses (see above).
People often say their children remind them of themselves, right?
Hence, Khloe could call her baby after the undiagnosed yet incurable condition she struggles with everyday, Khle CD.
Thankfully, this condition also ensures Khlo CD will never go without perfectly stacked Oreos.
People often name their babies after important people in their lives.
In Khloe's case, her trainer, Gunnar Peterson is very, very important.
Naming her baby after her trainer would be a great reminder to do squats every time he/she cries. After all, fitness stops for no one and nothing. Stair master would also make a great middle name in line with the workout theme.
According to sources, Khloe and Tristan wanted to name their baby something normal.
Not after a city, or the way the sun is facing, or a weather event, or even a saint.
And what's more normal than Sharon?
Nothing, that's what.
Finally, this might be the most appropriate of all the made up baby names.
Khloe Kardashian Jr.
Because at the end of the day, Khloe will always be able to count on herself to be a damn good role model for her daughter.
Tristan who, right?
Now - if Khloe could just hurry up and confirm any/all of these theories, that'd be swell.
What do you think Khloe will name her baby?
P.S. In the midst of the most private moments of her life, does Khloe have a right to ask for privacy? Mamamia Out Loud discuss below.