rogue

Okay, lockdown has... broken the Kardashians.

“Kim, there’s people that are dying.”

At no point in time has this iconic line from Keeping Up With The Kardashians been more relevant.

Kardashians
Image: Giphy.

Last week, as we continued to wrestle with the unprecedented pandemic that has befell the world, the Kardashians had an argument about house-staff. You see, in the most recent episode of Keeping Up With The Kardashianswhich was filmed last December, eldest sister Kourtney Kardashian argued with her 22-year-old sister Kylie Jenner over who would host Christmas morning for their family.

Kourtney demanded it be her because she believed Kylie's would be too fancy.

"I don't want servers there. I don't want housekeepers there. I don't want chefs there. I don't want a decorator setting the table," Kourtney bellowed at her billionaire sister.

This was absurd for two predominant reasons: a) who even thinks to hire a "decorator" for a gathering of immediate family and b) why would you decline the offer to have a world-class chef cook for you?

The very fact that this frivolous and fortunate matter was cause for such an impassioned quarrel signifies that in December, the Kardashians were in the very early stages of losing it. And now, we can confirm that they have categorically lost it, not least of all because they decided to broadcast this fight about their "servers" amid a global economic crisis.

But I have more evidence, please.

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In April, Kylie Jenner made worldwide headlines when paparazzi 'caught' her wearing no makeup. Completely unfiltered. Not even a speck of foundation could be seen.

And whilst this is extremely normal for literally anyone else, it was profoundly out of character for the youngest Kardashian sister, who has made her billionaire fortune out of an eponymous makeup company.

Then, a few days following, Kylie Jenner did another... thing.

She posted a photo of herself looking very lush at her pool:

kardashians
Image: Instagram/Kyliejenner.

Which is interesting because...

kardashians
Image: Instagram/Kyliejenner.
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Yes. A photoshop fail. Which is odd because don't you have the best photoshop editors in the world, or sumfin' like that?

Kylie deleted the post, then re-uploaded without the photoshop faux-pas on display. Wise move.

 

View this post on Instagram

 

taco tuesday

A post shared by Kylie ???? (@kyliejenner) on


But Kylie isn't the only Kardashian sister who has fell victim to the photoshop fail.  Most recently, it was Kim Kardashian.

The 39-year-old shared this snake-themed photo to her social media.

 

View this post on Instagram

 

Venomousss

A post shared by Kim Kardashian West (@kimkardashian) on

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Which is lovely. Except, it would appear that she has... three hands?

I'm no expert on anatomy but THAT'S NOT NORMAL.

And look. Upon further inspection, the entire Kardashian family has demonstrated they are at breaking point amid quarantine – because the Kardashians are nothing if not relatable.

Kourtney is exclusively posting old travel pictures with no context for a reason not yet known.

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View this post on Instagram

 

thank you

A post shared by Kourtney Kardashian (@kourtneykardash) on

And Khloe posted this. Which basically sums everything up.

 

View this post on Instagram

 

How I feel about 2020 ????

A post shared by Khloé (@khloekardashian) on

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It's also taken them precisely zero time for them to turn COVID-19 into KUWTK content.

The E! Network recently dropped the trailer for the second half of their 18th season, in which they show footage of the family's life in quarantine in Los Angeles.

Towards the end of the trailer, Kylie Jenner is heard saying: "It’s just scary when someone so close to home has tested positive."

It's unclear if she's talking about a close family member or close friend or just someone... literally close to their home.

And that concludes my thesis on how the Kardashian family has fundamentally lost their sh*t amid this coronavirus crisis. Who can blame them, though?

Feature Image: Instagram. 


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