real life

"When I received this appalling message on Instagram, I was shocked."

I am blonde. I have blue eyes. I have large-ish boobs and I don’t mind a selfie or two.

I’ve never been afraid to share my curves, or highlight a good outfit day. Nor have I ever felt shame in doing so.

Therefore, in summary, I am the ‘deserving’ recipient of creepy DM’s on my Instagram. Did you not get the memo? I must have missed it as well.

Do I think I’m a supermodel? Absolutely not. Am I flattered by such messages from the opposite sex? Oh that would be a hell no!

I have had guys tell me to ….

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Or asked if I had…

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Or just straight out offered me money. Unsolicited. For a night of debauchery.

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This was the first time I had been outright offered cash, so it is safe to say I was shocked. Was he really offering what I thought he was offering? So I delved further…

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Ok, yep, fair to say I was right with my original theory.

Here’s a fun fact! Did you know that you can automatically delete text from DM’s once the recipient has read them? Therefore deleting all evidence of your creepiness? I found that out after the above, clearly married creepster was up to no good whilst sliding into my inbox.

Despite not being a sex worker, nor soliciting such a service, for some reason some blokes think it is completely acceptable to make an offer of cash to me, in exchange for sexual favours.

It was only today that I opened my DM’s to yet another creepy offer, and decided to name and shame them.

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I don’t mind sharing these ridiculous messages on my story, but usually I scribble out their identity first. Most of the time I get a sobbing follow-up DM from them apologising and begging me to take down the post.

However, today I reached a point. Why should I feel the need to put my Instagram on private because of a few sleazy creeps? Doesn't that mean they win in the end?

Nope, today I decided to take action. In the fine words of RuPaul: “Not today Satan.” And a word to the wise, don’t pop into my DM’s on a Sunday. I’m usually extra feisty.

However, it has got me thinking. What is the correct course of action when it comes to creepy DM messages? Should you ignore them? Block them? Report them?

Does anything really ever happen if you report them?

According to Etiquette Coach Patricia Rossi, who spoke to Refinery 29, we should simply ignore them.

Patricia says, “The minute you engage, they’ve won. It will just inspire them to continue, and they will come on stronger.”

Dr Paulette Sherman, author of ‘Dating From The Inside Out’ agrees. She says “generally, engaging the conversation will only invite more of the same. Just disengage and see if they go away.”

But what if they don’t go away? Dr Sherman suggests the obvious, “directly telling them to stop contacting you and blocking them if you haven’t already. There’s also an Instagram feature that allows you to delete DM’s before you even open them.”

Ok now this is all fine and well, but what if constant messages like this make your blood boil?

Sadly, the experts still recommend ignoring them. As ridiculously difficult as that is.

What's your course of action when you receive creepy messages on social media? 

This post originally appeared on High Heels and Hangovers and has been republished with full permission. 

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