parent opinion

From never to every single day: 21 parents share exactly how much sex they have each week.

When you become a parent, there are plenty of exciting new things that your new little one brings into your life. However, there are just as many things from your child-free life prior, that get somewhat… neglected. Chances are, that includes sex.

Kids are all-consuming, we know that.

But sex is important for any healthy relationship.

WATCH: How to have better sex. Post continues below.

Video via Mamamia

So, Mamamia spoke to a bunch of parents with kids of varying ages to see exactly how often they are getting intimate.

From multiple times a week to absolutely never, 21 parents share exactly how much sex they have a week.

1. Once a week.

“We do it once a week and on Sundays between about 8.30am and 8.35am.”

2. About every three weeks.

“I have a three-year-old and an 18-month-old. We both sleep in separate beds with one kid each and I’m still breastfeeding. I forget sex exists. Around every three weeks if we are both at home and it’s only when the kids are at daycare. Very sad.”

3. Once a fortnight.

“I have a two-year-old. We have sex anywhere from twice a week to twice a month. It really depends on the toddler. If he goes down early then we might be able to get a quicky in more often. If he has left a big mess during the day that takes priority then we fall into bed too tired.”

4. Once a year.

“My kids are five and two. I co-sleep with the youngest and he sleeps in another room so that’s a barrier to workaround! Last week was the first time we’d had sex all year.

“We make up for it by going away for the weekend every few months. Just us time! We’re both happy – just busy and tired! Both work full time and have the household to run. It happens when it happens.”

5. Never.

“I stopped enjoying sex six years ago. It does nothing for me and my sex drive is zero these days. I do everything I can to avoid it and I wouldn’t care if I never have sex again! I have two kids ages 10 and eight. I should add that my husband has given up asking because he knows I’ll say no.”

6. Once a week.

“We have two kids – 13 months and two-and-a-half. Once a week is normal for us. Occasionally it will be a good week and we get three in but that’s rare.

“Our biggest hurdles are absolute exhaustion and also not wanting to be touched after having two kids hanging off me non stop all day long. I just don’t want to be touched. I want to go to bed and read and not talk.”

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7. Two to three times a week.

“Our children are eight and six now. We have become big fans of the cheeky little lunchtime rendezvous midweek! We feel like we’re dating all over again. I’ve been buying sexy lingerie and even sext!

“Our kids are up at 6am and don’t go down until 8-8.30ish these days so time and a lack of privacy have become an issue. I’d say it’s averaging two to three times a week now though. Not bad for a couple of old married spuds.”

8. Every two weeks.

“Not nearly enough! We have a 13-year-old, 10-year-old and three-year-old. My husband works as a firefighter (two days, two nights, four days off) and has his own bookkeeping business so works seven days and nights a week.

“We’ve been together 21 years, since we were 18 and 20. We were absolute rabbits for years! Like… years! He went on five, six-month deployments with the army which was always hard to go without but we’d make up for it when he returned.

“As soon as the little one was born he started his business and to be honest, these three years have been sh*t when it comes to intimacy. The little guy loves to sleep in our bed. The big ones don’t go to bed early anymore. There are so many factors. When we get the time it’s as fabulous as it was in 1999, but I’d say once every two weeks is the norm now. And it makes me so furious!

“I could still do every night if he was around and up for it. Sometimes I ask him to quit his business just so he can come to bed with me every night but he has a ridiculous work ethic that used to include sex but now it’s just work, work, work.”

9. Once a fortnight.

“After pregnancy, my whole downstairs changed and now sex can be really painful unless I’m crazy in the mood (which is about four times a year!). Throw in a child who wakes up six times a night and that’s that! He gets weekly blow jobs and we have sex around once a fortnight.”

10. Once a week.

“My kids are 18, 14 and 14. We have sex about once a week. It gets trickier to find time when they aren’t awake or home as they get older! I am often asleep before the kids so it tends to happen when they have all left for work and school.

“That said, for me, it isn’t a priority I would be very happy to go without it. I make it a priority in our relationship because it is important for my hubby, his love language is very much physical touch. I just want to add that we were doing it more when the kids were younger. Our peak was probably when our son was eight and the girls were four, up to when our son went to high school.

“That was when they went to bed early and slept early and we would have matinee sessions on preschool days when hubby was home. He was a shift worker for the first 14 years of our marriage so we had more daytime than night time sex. Teenagers have been a killer on our sex life and the less free time we had to do it the less I have wanted it. I do wonder if that will change when we get rid of the kids…”

11. Three times a week.

“My kids are 17, 19 and 21. We have sex at least three times a week. It gets easier to manage when the kids are older. They are out of the house often. They know not to burst into our room if the door is closed. And we can get away without worrying about babysitters. We make an effort to escape our kids at least once a month for a weekend away.”

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12. Not for 10 weeks.

“My older two were not even five and seven when my twins were born. They are now seven, five, two and two. Over the new year period, I ended up in hospital with a gastric complaint. They did a pregnancy test with my bloods, and for a minute I panicked (I adore my children but we already have our struggles with four young ones) but then I realised I had my tubes tied when I delivered the twins.

“I am on the pill to manage my PCOS and periods, and my hubby and I are lucky to be left alone, let alone enjoy some hanky panky. It had been about 10 weeks since any bedroom fun at that point… safe to say I wasn’t pregnant.”

13. Once a week.

“Our kids are 20, 18, 12, 11 and 19 months. We have sex about once a week, sometimes more, sometimes less. Our 19 month old sleeps in our room too.”

14. Once or twice a week.

“We have one child who is 19 months old. As for how often we have sex, it really depends on tiredness, falling asleep early due to fitting it all in (full-time work, different days off so the days off are like being a single parent, wanting time to read or watch a show), sickness such as colds and viruses due to being tired and immunity lower and also disagreements that can happen which does not help you to be in the mood for it. If all going well in the relationship, though, we have sex once or twice per week.”

Listen to Sealed Section, Mamamia’s sex podcast. Post continues below.

15. Up to seven times a week.

“Kids are four and seven-years-old. We are doing it three times a week if we are both busy at work, otherwise up to seven times a week.”

16. Once or twice a week.

“We have two kids aged three and one. We average one or two times a week. I’ve never known if this is above or below average.”

17. Once a week.

“Kids are 15 and 17. Sex is about once a week. I’d pass on it altogether but it’s important to my hubby. It’s a compromise – less often than he’d like, more often than I would be bothered to manage!”

18. Never.

“None. I am in full-on menopause and am PAUSING. I have a 10-year-old and a 15-year-old with ADHD who does my head in multiple times a day and I turned 50 last week! It’s been like a year.”

19. Twice a week.

“I have a 10, six and three-year-old. After my third, I couldn’t stand the thought of sex. Now I’m in a better headspace and go for maybe two times a week. And it’s goooood sex, not the ‘hurry up and get this over with’ kind of sex.”

20. Once a week.

“I have eight-year-old twins, a five-year-old and a two-year-old. I try not to keep track because that can get depressing! I really enjoy sex and would love more. So at the moment, it’s probably once a week.”

21. It depends.

“Kids are almost four, five, seven and eight. Some weeks it’ll be four or five times a week and other weeks it’ll be zero. All depends on my cycle. It turns out not being on contraception, makes you very in touch with your body and its needs.”

How often do you and your partner have sex? Let us know in the comments.

Feature image: Getty.


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